I’ll admit it: For the past five years, I have been obsessed with social networking. First it was Friendster, and then MySpace, and now Facebook. And somewhere along the way, through overseas friends, I’ve signed up for hi5 and Bebo. Some of these sites have been infiltrated with fictional women, perhaps connected to porn websites or mail-order-bride operations. And of course these spam-generated “women” prey on men who list themselves as single.
It had been a while since I last checked in at hi5. But today, an e-mail notified me that I’d received a friend request from “Daisy Blaire.” I clicked through, not thinking that I might actually know Daisy Blaire, but, oh come on…I’m writing this blog post on a Friday night; I obviously have some free time on my hands.
Lo and behold, I had 16 friend requests waiting for me on hi5! And I’d like you to meet 8 of them (pictured above, left to right, top to bottom):
• Erica Connor, requested Mar 6, 2008 4:30 PM
• Whitney Connor, requested Mar 7, 2008 10:42 AM
• Angela Connor, requested Mar 9, 2008 5:07 PM
• Lindsey Connor, requested Mar 17, 2008 5:01 PM
• Julia Connor, requested Mar 29, 2008 1:44 AM
• Trix Connor, requested Mar 31, 2008 4:57 AM
• A different Erica Connor, requested Apr 3, 2008 6:44 PM
• And last but not least, a different Angela Connor, requested Apr 6, 2008 10:10 AM
I don’t know how to put this, Erica, and Whitney, and Angela, and Lindsey, and Julia, and Trix, and other Erica, and yes, even you, other Angela, so I’m just going to speak from the heart. I want to be friends with each of you. Who knows, maybe our friendship could develop into “something more” if we take things slow. But if I accept only one of you, I risk hurting the others. And if I accept you all, it might just tear the Connor household apart. And that I simply cannot do. I trust that you’ll find happiness, Connors, in some kind of Eight Brides for Eight Brothers sort of deal. But it’s not going to happen with Team Silbert.
Jack Silbert, curator