Yankees Radio Ad Scorecard

The Yankees were playing a midweek “getaway” game yesterday afternoon, so I thought it might be fun to listen on the radio and keep score. If I’m going to pay attention to an entire game, I almost always watch on television. Still, over the course of the season, I’ll hear a lot of play-by-play on the radio: in the car, in the shower, on the MLB At-Bat app while walking, etc. I’m not real fond of the Yankees’ radio team, John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman. (On the app, I’ll usually listen to the opposing team’s broadcasters.) But I like radio, so I listen a lot, and have been regularly listening to Yankees games since 1981.

In the past couple of seasons, I’ve noticed an increase in the number of ads during the radio broadcasts. I’m not talking about between innings; it is commercial radio after all. And I’m not even talking about different sections of the pre-game, game, and post-game being sponsored by this company or that company. Sports fans have grown accustomed to the ever-expanding “corporate creep” on radio, TV, and in arenas and stadiums. But the Yankees have been taking it to a whole other level, inserting random advertisements during the action, even mid-at-bat. On the MLB app, I listen to a lot of teams’ radio broadcasts, and I don’t think it’s a league-wide phenomenon.

So, while listening to this game, I thought I’d keep score not of the individual plays, but of each sponsor mentioned by the announcing team, from the first pitch to the last out. Here is my scorecard.

NEW YORK YANKEES at MINNESOTA TWINS
September 26, 2012
on WCBS 880-AM, New York
Play-by-play: John Sterling
Color commentary: former pitcher Jeff Nelson (subbing for Suzyn Waldman, who was off for Yom Kippur)

Top of the First Inning
• With a 1-ball, 2-strike count on the Yanks’ leadoff hitter, Ichiro Suzuki, we hear about Sapporo beer. Since this is a paid mention, I guess it’s not offensive. But it feels offensive.
• Jeff Nelson has a pleasing voice, not unlike that of Yankee manager Joe Girardi. He may have a future in this business.
• At the end of the half inning, we are told that we are listening to “the Yankees Radio Network, driven by Jeep.” This will be repeated after every half inning, yet I’ll never figure out what it means for a radio network to be driven by a Jeep.

Bottom of the 1st
• The familiar “no rebroadcast, account, etc. without the express written consent of Major League Baseball” disclaimer is sponsored by the law firm Cellino & Barnes. Am I violating that legal notice right now? I’d hire Cellino and/or Barnes, but they are personal injury attorneys.
• The first pitch by a Yankee (today, by CC Sabathia) is sponsored by Time-Warner Cable. We can only dream of a time when every pitch will have its own sponsor.

Top of the 2nd
• There’s a 2-2 count on Curtis Granderson, with Nick Swisher at first, when we learn this broadcast is presented by our Tri-State Audi Dealers.
• Two outs later, with a 2-2 count on Eric Chavez, we learn that our Tri-State Ford Dealers are also presenting the broadcast. Because Nelson is new at this, we get a little peek behind the curtain: “These reads are killing me,” he says. “I’ve got to read these cards.” John Sterling, the seasoned pro, explains to his would-be protégé: “First rule of radio, we’ve got to sell the soap.” (Nelson, referring to teams’ enthusiasm levels late in the season, repeatedly says “If you can’t get it up…” so I keep expecting a Cialis ad.)
• Twins pitcher Samuel Deduno, experiencing left-eye irritation, has to come out of the game. Where are you, Visine? Instead, the need for a pitching change is sponsored by our local Hyundai Dealers.
• We return from a commercial break and learn that the new pitcher is Brian Duensing, and that the pitching change itself was sponsored by the New York Smokers Quitline. Just in case you lit up during the commercial.

Bottom of the 2nd
• During the first batter, Ryan Doumit, we get the Scoreboard Update, brought to us by the Mercedes Tri-State Dealers. Except the Yankees and Twins are the only day game, so there are no other scores. Nelson acknowledges this. He runs down a list of the night games.
• Two outs, 2-2 count on Alexi Casilla, when we hear about Taco Bell Doritos Locos tacos. Casilla is Dominican so this is not offensive.

Top of the 3rd
• With one out, we learn of the SportsYapper app. Sterling is 8,000 years old and not tech-savvy so 45-year-old whippersnapper Nelson handles this one.
• There are two on, and one out. Sterling tells us it is the “Rally Moment of the Game,” which of course is sponsored by Rally BMW. OK, that one sort of makes sense, I guess.
• Now the bases are loaded with one out, and we are told to visit the “real Little Italy” on Arthur Avenue in the Bronx. This makes less sense; there is not even an Italian guy on base.
• The Yankees have batted around, and Sterling is giving scorecard management tips to Nelson. See, even you youngsters can learn a thing or two!
• We are told that tickets for the upcoming series with the Boston Red Sox can be purchased via yankees.com. I believe this is known as a “house ad.”
• It’s another call to the bullpen, sponsored by 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS. (Sorry to put the jingle in your head.)
• We return from commercials to learn that the Twins’ new pitcher is Anthony Swarzak, and the pitching change was brought to us by the New York Lottery. Not sure if manager Ron Gardenhire selected Swarzak randomly via a ping-pong-ball-filled machine.

Bottom of the 3rd
• There’s one out. The Tri-State Ford Dealers are mentioned again.
• Sterling explains that when Chris Dickerson struck out to end the top of the 3rd, that was the 15th out of the game. So Geico reminds us that 15 minutes could save us a lot on car insurance. Maybe that would sound more clever in the voice of a British gecko.

Top of the 4th
• No ads, no sponsors. I feel like I’m in Communist Russia.

Bottom of the 4th
• With an 0-1 count on Joe Mauer, we get another Scoreboard Update, sponsored by WestJet. There are still no scores to relay.

Top of the 5th
• We are reminded of the Papa John’s promotion in which, if the Yankees score 6 or more runs in a victory, the next day we can get 50% off an order. Full disclosure: I have participated in this promotion.
• Today’s Speed Report (Granderson hit a triple) is brought to us by AT&T 4GLTE. So many letters.

Bottom of the 5th
• Again with the Tri-State Audi Dealers.
• It’s the Daily News Fifth, and we’re joined by Yankees beat reporter Mark Feinsand. Usually when I catch this segment, it feels like exclusive info from a sports-journalism insider. Today I hear it for what it is: an extended ad for a newspaper. I feel dirty; ink-stained.

Top of the 6th
• Raul Ibanez is safe at first. Being safe is good, being secure is better, according to New York Life Insurance. Whatever.
• Chris Dickerson hits a home run. Sterling’s personalized home-run call seems to be “Dickerson christens [section where ball lands]!” But wouldn’t that mean it was the first ball hit there? That seems highly unlikely. Luckily Chris Dickerson does not hit many home runs.
• Today’s Pitch Count is brought to us by 5-Hour Energy. Yawn.

Bottom of the 6th
—A guy is warming up in the bullpen, which elicits another mention of the New York Smokers Quitline.
—With one out, there is another Scoreboard Update, this time from Geico, and of course there are still no other games underway. Nelson is enjoying this; it’s become a running gag.

Top of the 7th
• Have we mentioned that today’s game is presented by the Tri-State Audi Dealers? Oh we have?
• There’s an 0-2 count on Robinson Cano when McGladrey Insurance brings us an In-Game Boxscore.
• Now with two outs, we get the most confusing ad of the afternoon. It starts off like it’s for the New Era Pinstripe Bowl, which is held at Yankee Stadium so it’s kind of a house ad except it also says “New Era.” But then all of a sudden we’re being told to book rooms at the New York Hilton, presumably when we come in for the game. Who paid for this?

Bottom of the 7th
• The BMW 7 Series sponsored the 7th Inning Stretch. They both have 7’s in them.
• Immediately after we are told this, and with an 0-2 count on Chris Parmelee, we are alerted to the availability of Redhead Roasters coffees at Wendy’s.
• We have not yet processed that random piece of information when we hear the Wild Card Watch sponsored by Prudential.
• There are two outs when we are asked to text “chase” to some number and in return we will receive ticket alerts. Am assuming this is another house ad but who knows, maybe Chase Bank is somehow involved.

Top of the 8th
• With a 1-2 count on 34-year-old Eric Chavez, Sterling asks if we are planning for senior living. If so we should consider RiverWalk, part of the Hebrew Home of Riverdale. As if to prove some sort of point, up next is 40-year-old Raul Ibanez.
• There is one out when Nelson tells us we can catch all the out-of-market games on MLB.TV. There is one week left in the season.
• The Indian Point Energy Center brings us the Power Report. OK that one makes sense. In 2000 there was a radioactive leak at Indian Point that closed the plant for 11 months, but I guess there is not enough time to discuss this between pitches.
• New York Life Insurance is mentioned again; I guess someone is safe at first?
• With a 2-0 count on somebody, Sterling explains that we’re about to hear some “inside radio.” He asks engineer Carlos Silva if Sterling owes him a station ID. There have been several of these 10-second breaks during the broadcast, an hourly FCC requirement and house ad all rolled into one.

Bottom of the 8th
• There are two outs when we are given details about tomorrow’s broadcast. This information is sponsored by London Jewelers on Long Island. I wonder if there is a Long Island Jewelers in London.

Top of the 9th
• No ads or sponsors.

Bottom of the 9th
• Two baseball moments of note: Brett Gardner, who’d been on the disabled list since April 18, takes over in left field, and the Twins’ Chris Herrmann gets his first major-league hit. I only smell missed opportunities. “Disabled? Try SportsCare Rehab.” “It’s the first time; trust Trojan brand.”
• Alas, there are also no ads or sponsors in the bottom of the 9th. Fear not, they will start again immediately in the post-game show, beginning with the Poland Spring Star of the Game.

Oh yeah, the Yankees won, 8–2. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a car.