3.5 stars out of 5
The pinball museum was closed. I’d gone down to Asbury Park from Hoboken for the day and this had thrown a monkey wrench into my evening plans. They were holding a charity event there, autism, $100 entry. I’m a charitable guy, but, come on, a hundred bucks? I just wanted to play Addams Family.
OK, plan B. I walked over to the Stone Pony, where Booker T. Jones of Booker T. & the MGs would be playing. That could be cool; “Time Is Tight” is one of my all-time favorites. But this show was $31 and there were three no-name opening acts. Sorry, T, but time is indeed tight (and also…). So what else? Pittsburgh’s own Joe Grushecky was at Tim McLoone’s Supper Club. Maybe an up-close sighting of his longtime pal Mr. Springsteen? Still, I wasn’t really feeling it. And I had already long ruled out Bow Wow Wow with a bogus lead singer at the Brighton Bar.
I guess I could check out the vampire movie.
I had seen some mention of it in a weekly Asbury Park email I receive. Though I’d basically just come from seeing Koch and I’m not real crazy about two movies in a day. (I like for them to, you know, “settle” in my brain.) But with options dwindling, I headed to the Paramount Theatre to survey the scene.
I entered the lobby, which was filling up with punk-rock kids. There was a table set up for the Foodbank of Monmouth and Ocean Counties. Ah, my soft spot. Like I said, I’m a charitable guy, and it was actually Springsteen who turned me on many years ago to the crucial importance of community food banks. I talked with the two decidedly non-punk women at the table about Sandy relief (Hoboken and the shore, we can certainly swap stories) and the movie (they knew it was locally shot, and had something to do with vampires). Handed them a five, which would provide 15 meals. Hunger is a beatable problem, it really is!
Took a look at the list of bands on the movie poster and then I was totally sold. Big Eyes, I love Big Eyes! I first saw them at Asbury Lanes exactly two years earlier when I was, yup, fleeing Hoboken. The Ergs—New Brunswick basement legends. I’d just seen Mikey Erg playing drums in Greenpoint. The Bouncing Souls—Jersey to the core. Via Audio—my friend Leital’s brother Dan used to be in that band. At the very least, the NJ-loaded soundtrack would kick ass.
So I bought an $8 ticket (proceeds also going to the Foodbank) and went inside the beautiful old Paramount Theatre. There was about a half hour till showtime and obviously I didn’t really know what to expect. Would it be super campy? A real gross-out flick? On my phone I learned that Two Pints Lighter had been funded by a $9,000 Kickstarter campaign in 2010. I immediately felt guilty that I hadn’t contributed to the campaign even though I hadn’t known anything about it till that very moment.
I am pleased to report that I enjoyed Two Pints Lighter quite a lot. I should point out that it is director Matt Lawrence‘s debut feature-length film, certainly done on a shoestring budget—a frayed shoestring at that—and by those standards it is a very impressive accomplishment indeed. And yet I wasn’t thinking in those terms while in the theater; I was just watching a movie. And from that perspective it still holds up.
Yes, the protagonist is a vampire, but this is not a horror film. It’s really a psychological drama couched in a lot of gentle humor. Co-writer Ryan Conrath stars as Wade, a bumbling, disheveled, drunken girl-obsessed drifter who just happens to have pointy teeth and a thirst for blood. Like TV’s Hulk long before him, when Wade gets into trouble (in his case, biting and thereby killing women) he has to move on to the next town. Which eventually lands him in Asbury Park.
Wade is not the most likable movie character ever but as he tries to make a new start, if we’re not totally rooting for him, we’re at least hoping he won’t kill again. And specifically that he won’t kill Lucy, played by Hannah Telle. Wade and Lucy meet cute over a Walkman in the Asbury Lanes bar. (It’s mildly frustrating that we don’t get a backstory on Wade, but maybe he still has a Walkman because he’s immortal.) In trying to court Lucy, Wade really attempts to become a better man/vampire. He lands a job at the Lanes (where his boss is the wonderfully deadpan Charlie Anderson, a little reminiscent of Dave Foley in NewsRadio). He starts attending a self-help group. He goes on a hemoglobin-free diet.
But it’s not easy. Conrath—who reminded me of a younger Denis O’Hare—does a solid job not turning Wade into a cartoon. We get a real sense of his anguish and inner struggle. He’s haunted by a recurring nightmare (that I didn’t really understand). He goes through withdrawal symptoms. And temptation is everywhere.
And boy is Lucy tempting. Hannah Telle is positively gorgeous and as Lucy she exudes sweetness to the extreme. Telle makes her totally charming and quirky (her job: live musical accompaniment to silent films!) and if you don’t want to hang out with Lucy after watching this, I think something is wrong with you. She cuts Wade all sorts of slack and we are completely pulling for her. Wade, don’t bite Lucy!
Their relationship is remarkably chaste—I actually would’ve liked some dialogue addressing this. (“I have relationship issues so can we proceed platonically for a while,” or something like that.) But it does add to the overall sense of gentleness here.
Another major character here is the Jersey shore itself. Yes, the film is low budget and there’s a certain rawness to the footage, but that totally works with this setting. Asbury Park is kind of a raw town. Lawrence clearly knows the area well and shoots it lovingly, capturing its often desolate nature, especially at night. And I was so happy that it isn’t the Snooki-and-the-Situation shore on display here. It’s the punk-rock, indie-spirit shore as typified by Asbury Lanes (which we hope will remain that way under new ownership), words! bookstore, and the ShowRoom art-house theater. Oh yeah, and the Silver Ball Museum and Pinball Hall of Fame, when they’re not hosting a charity event that I can’t afford.
I was also impressed that before the screening, Lawrence asked the crowd to stay through the end credits, to acknowledge all the effort from the cast, crew, and Kickstarter backers. A class move, and kudos to all involved. So watch your back, Kevin Smith. With Two Pints Lighter, the Jersey shore is one filmmaker stronger.
I enjoyed reading that. Thanks. And good job on the food banks!