4 stars out of 5
Be careful what you wish for, they say. The last time I reviewed a David Cronenberg movie, A Dangerous Method over a decade ago, I said that the talky film made me “long for the twistedness of Dead Ringers, etc.” At age 79, my crony Croney is back with maybe his most f’ed up flick ever. And while I can’t imagine that a ton of people would willingly pay to see this, I certainly did (full price!), and I… enjoyed it? That doesn’t seem like the right word. Admired it? Hmm, that’s closer.
We’re in the not-too-distant future, or perhaps an alternate post-apocalyptic present in which point-and-shoot cameras have made a comeback. Viruses and pain are things of the past, and human evolution has sped up, meaning that people are growing new organs within and without themselves that have unclear functions. Cronenberg regular Viggo Mortensen and Léa Seydoux (who is making brave career choices) are lovers second but performance artists first, making spectacle of these mutations for hipster crowds. Kristen Stewart, who remains my favorite ever, and Don McKellar run the government’s Ministry of Organs or some such name; they are tasked with cataloging these metamorphoses. Stewart is a delight as the mousy office girl who becomes fascinated with Viggo and his underground world. Viggo is terrific as a shadowy figure on darkened streets, seemingly needing an Albuterol inhaler as his rapidly evolving body is affecting his breathing. Or as Jeff Goldblum said in the first Cronenberg movie I ever saw, The Fly, “I’m not getting worse. I’m getting… better.”
There’s also a cop story somewhere in here.
Along the ride, Cronenberg tackles human/machine symbiosis (hello Crash), romantic jealousy, medical ethics, vanity, tech support, family responsibility, and drawing a moral line in an immoral world. This dark content is matched by a dark, rundown urban setting, filled with old equipment and crumbling, dirty walls. Cronenberg’s regular composer, the great Howard Shore (now 75) contributes an appropriately morose score.
What can I tell you? There is also a lot of bodily gross-out content. If you’re a Videodrome/The Brood/Rabid Cronenberg fan, I can see you watching this, subtly nodding your head, with shock occasionally registering on your face. If you’re more of a History of Violence/Eastern Promises person, treasure those memories and avert your eyes.
Movie Review: Crimes of the Future
Movie Review: Jurassic World—Dominion
4 stars out of 5
Spoiler alert: This whole movie is about Liz Cheney and her Deep State cronies hiding all the compromised Dominion voting machines on Isla Nublar where they’re attacked by velociraptors and the TRUTH.
OK, no, it’s just another installment in the Jurassic Park/World series, and if we can believe the hype, it’s the final one. (Though I have to imagine in my 70s I’ll be dragging my sorry old ass to the VirtuoPlex for the new reboot Jurassic Universe: Reawakening starring Prince Louis and a genderless android named Glip.)
Speaking of being older at the movie theater: The only reason I saw this movie in Real3D was the showing time was 15 minutes later than a standard screening, and I really had to go to the bathroom. If the price differential is substantial, you absolutely don’t need to see this flick in 3D; there are no coming-at-ya moments and almost no wow-look-at-the-sense-of-depth scenes.
Does it seem like I’m about to give this movie a snarky, negative review? I know, right? And yet, I kind of loved it. Maybe I’m just a sentimental sucker for these Star Wars/Ghostbusters old-cast-meets-new-cast ploys, but, it’s nice! I’m older, they’re older, it works by gum!
Picking up from the fairly dreadful Fallen Kingdom, Earth is slowly becoming Planet of the Dinosaurs and it is not going fantastically well. Chris Pratt and Ron Howard’s daughter are hiding the British tween clone granddaughter of Jurassic Park cofounder Lockwood. (They’re really ramped up the stupid in these Jurassic World movies.) Then, in a none-too-subtle metaphor, giant locusts arrive. Laura Dern (yay!) recruits a looking-better-than-he-has-any-right Sam Neill to find out who’s behind these nasty bugs. Oh and by the way? If they don’t stop the locusts they’ll destroy our food chain and we’ll all die.
So this is all entertaining enough, pretty good, but then here’s the thing: The effects and the action sequences are AMAZING. And they don’t skimp on the thrills through this 2-hour, 20-minute extravaganza. It is literally action-packed. A brilliant truck/motorcycle/dinosaur chase scene had me cheering and laughing. Many sequences were similarly delightful.
Other old pals round out the cast, notably Jeff Goldblum who was in Fallen Kingdom for a hot second, but really gets to be his glorious self here. BD Wong is back as the morally compromised yet still probably a good guy researcher. Isabella Sermon returns as 14-year-old Maisie Lockwood and definitely holds her own; she can roll her eyes and storm off with the best of them. And the villain is… I had to look this up because the character was briefly in Jurassic Park and that was half a lifetime ago… Campbell Scott who is not as young and dashing as you remember him. Except wait, Campbell Scott wasn’t in Jurassic Park. What happened to the original actor? I’ll let you Google it yourself, but, just so you’re prepared: ewwww.
The emotional payoffs are OK, though certainly would’ve been a lot stronger if handled by executive producer Spielberg himself. Still, the end result is the best entry in the series since the original film, and the most fun I’ve had at the movies this year.
Movie Review: Montana Story
4 stars out of 5
Maybe you have a work husband or work wife. Back in 2012–13, I had an unemployment wife. Laid-off Lex and I would go to the movies, often ending up at the Crocodile Lounge on 14th Street where you’d get a free pizza with every drink. (Toppings extra.) One of the movies we really loved during that time: What Maisie Knew directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel.
It’s a decade later, and McGehee and Siegel finally have another film out — Montana Story. And where Maisie was a city tale about parents and the effect of their actions/inactions on a young child, this rural story focuses on mid-20s siblings still coping with Dad’s behavior from long ago. We first meet Cal (Owen Teague), back at the ranch because Dad is dying. Eventually sister Erin (Haley Lu Richardson) shows up, surprisingly — she’d run away 7 years before and hadn’t kept in touch. The trailer led me to believe this was a road picture, with Erin rescuing their old horse and taking him to New York. And that is a plot point, but what this truly is is a family drama I feel many can relate to.
The death of a parent and selling of a home is familiar turf for many of us, or someday will be. (Hell, just the other weekend I saw Peter Holsapple sing his aching song “Inventory” on the very same subject.) Cal is mostly dealing with the logistics and finances, while Erin is paying the emotional cost, revisiting the pain that caused her to flee in the first place. Which leads to confronting the siblings’ unresolved issues.
I’ve only seen Teague in the IT movies and a Black Mirror episode but he hasn’t really stood out for me before. I did think Richardson was solid as the lead in Edge of Seventeen, which I caught on HBO a while back. But both actors are quite good here, Teague laid-back and matter-of-fact, Richardson a tightly-wound type-A, unwilling to unravel.
The filmmakers take their time filling us in on the backstory. For the longest stretch, I didn’t even know if Cal or Erin was older. (Surprise: Smaller, younger-looking Erin is the older one.) Even so while parsing out the details, they still over-rely on exposition. (“Hey medical aide, let me tell you our entire family history.” “Hey sister, during this car ride I’ll tell you of my life for the past 7 years.”) McGehee and Siegel, listen to your own line of dialogue written for the medical aide: “Some things are clear without explanation.”
And yet, as the drama slowly ramps up, I was drawn in more and more. The story is wrapped in the beautiful openness/emptiness of Montana, with a couple of lovely songs by Kevin Morby added in, so the movie looks good, sounds good, and feels real.
Aquarium Playlist, 4/26/22
EPISODE #484: WIND
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Roy Orbison — “Borne on the Wind”
Deena and Chasing Colours — “Everybody Knows the Way the Wind Blows”
Beach Boys — “Let the Wind Blow”
Fats Domino — “Let the Four Winds Blow”
They Might Be Giants — “I Hear the Wind Blow”
Ian & Sylvia — “Four Strong Winds”
Jimi Hendrix — “The Wind Cries Mary”
Bob Dylan — “Blowin’ in the Wind”
Donovan — “Catch the Wind”
Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band — “Against the Wind”
Don Covay — “It’s in the Wind”
Graham Parker & the Rumour — “Howling Wind”
Terry McCarthy — “Awkward Wind”
Iron & Wine — “The Wind Is Low”
Paul Westerberg — “Runaway Wind”
Warren Zevon — “Hasten Down the Wind”
Nina Simone — “Wild Is the Wind”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: The Bob’s Burgers Movie
4 stars out of 5
In its decade-plus on the air, Bob’s Burgers has never reached the giddy pop-culture heights of The Simpsons, South Park, and that one with the sassy baby and the dog. But, like King of the Hill before it, Bob’s is one of those IYKYK deals, with a secret society of fans. (Well, as secret as a network show with millions of viewers can be.) Mariah and I would give each other subtle BB nods at the record store.
To me, what’s made Bob’s Burgers so special — beyond the sharp, hilarious writing, the uproarious voice acting from so many top comics, and the very real settings — is the show’s huge heart, without ever getting corny. Bob, Linda, Tina, Gene, and Louise truly love each other. As do Jimmy Jr. and Zeke. And Teddy and Bob, though it’s not always reciprocal. And the characters deal with genuine emotions… I was about to list some emotions but it seems like a lot of the show is based on insecurity, and trying to overcome it.
And now we fans are rewarded with a big-screen movie. Like the series, it’s not flashy, and they didn’t really do anything to lure in new viewers (stunt voice casting, etc.). Instead we get a super-sized, slightly better animated, expectedly wonderful episode of the show. They get to stretch out, so we see more of the town. The dialogue is a smidge edgier than you can do on network TV. We get to see almost all of our favorite recurring characters. You knew there’d be songs, but here we get a couple of production numbers. Oh, and there’s a murder. (Don’t worry, things don’t get dark.)
Plus everything you want from Bob’s Burgers: Bob is worried about the restaurant, Tina is worried about Jimmy Jr., Gene has a crazy plan, Louise lures her siblings into something they don’t really want to do, Teddy wants to help Bob and Bob reluctantly agrees, and Linda is rooting everyone on. We get plenty of Kevin Kline as Mr. Fischoeder. And because it’s a movie, the action actually ramps up toward the end. Dare I say it gets exciting? While keeping tongue in cheek.
Two of the show’s producers created the newer animated show The Great North which is cut from a similar cloth of quirky sweetness (albeit with an over-reliance on puns) and I like it a lot, but Bob’s Burgers, as a series and now a motion picture, remains the (burger) king. Well done.
Movie Review: Happening
4.5 stars out of 5
Hmm, how to get Kavanaugh, Coney Barrett, Thomas, Gorsuch, and Alito to see this movie? Because they really need to. And yet, are any of them bright enough to read subtitles? Happening is a French film which takes place in 1963, though it may as well be Red State America, fall 2022, because abortion is illegal. We meet Anne, a bright college literature student eager to continue her studies. She is very surprised and upset to find out she’s pregnant from a fling. Anne has no intention to keep the baby. But her society has other ideas.
Anamaria Vartolomei is outstanding as Anne. She is strong, independent, unrelenting. Vartolomei deftly shows the changes as sadness and desperation creep in and build up, while never abandoning Anne’s central strength.
Director/cowriter Audrey Diwan, working from a semi-autobiographical novel by Annie Ernaux, ramps up the urgency and tension as the weeks add up, giving the film a race-against-the-clock thriller aspect. But much more so, it’s a psychological exploration. We see a fiercely independent person who realizes she needs help. Tragically, when she does ask for help, she finds that doctors are spooked and/or judgmental, and even close friends don’t wish to discuss the situation.
There are a couple of absolutely harrowing scenes to sit through. And yet, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett need to Clockwork Orange it with eyelids pried open.
In the AIDS crisis, we learned that Silence = Death. Happening unflinchingly reminds us that it will absolutely be the same for outlawed abortion, and that when matters become the most desperate, we allies will need to step up.
Movie Review: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
4 stars out of 5
Can we please just can it with the multiverse for a hot minute? Couple of pals said, “you gotta see Everything Everything All at Once,” yet three words into the summary I read, it said multiverse, and I was all, thank you but no; myself and my parallel selves are outta here.
The multiballverse was admittedly very cool in that cartoon Spidey movie, and who didn’t enjoy seeing Tobey Maguire (or wait, was that Elijah Wood?) et al. in the recent No Way Home. But at the end of the day it’s really lazy storytelling and needs to stop.
OK then, so why did I purposely go see a movie with Multiverse in its freaking title? Two words: Sam Raimi. The early Spider-Man installments that he directed remain the series’ best. Besides, the modern Marvel Universe could certainly use some of his Evil Dead-style goofiness.
Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange is thankfully less wisecracky than he’s been in recent appearances. Though a problem with having such a top-flight actor in this film is that some other cast members pale in comparison. Teen Xochitl Gomez as America Chavez, in a key role as the “asset” Strange needs to protect, gets the job done but doesn’t really stand out. And brace yerselves for a hot take, true believers: Elizabeth Olsen is not a very good actress and doesn’t have much screen presence. Plus, her Scarlet Witch outfit looks like a leftover Rite Aid Halloween costume. Luckily, Rachel McAdams is around to pick up the acting slack. I remain a fan.
The film’s first two thirds are alternately entertaining, needlessly confusing, and stupid. I’ll concede that jumping from universe to universe provides some impressive visual effects. But in the final third, the movie improves from merely watchable to something I honestly felt was very good. And that’s because it finally becomes a Sam Raimi flick. In the early going, it seemed like he was hamstrung by all the Marvel canon that needed to be jammed in. But finally, Raimi gets to be Raimi, and we get a zany horror film with genuine scares and laughs. Elizabeth Olsen truly comes into her own as a limping, bloodthirsty killer. Strange multivitaminverse madness, and very much fun!!
Aquarium Playlist, 5/3/22
EPISODE #485: GROOVIN’
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Katrina & the Waves — “She Loves To Groove”
Wizard Brain — “Keep On Groovin’”
The Lees of Memory — “(We Got To Be) Groovin’”
Leon Bridges — “Twistin’ & Groovin’”
The Equals — “Soul Groovin’”
Earth Wind & Fire — “Let’s Groove”
Isley Brothers — “Groove With You”
The Cucumbers — “Body Groove” [live]
Liquid Liquid — “Lock Groove” [live]
T.Rex — “The Groover”
Robyn Hitchcock — “Saturday Groovers”
Louis Jordan & his Tympani Five — “Oh Boy, I’m in the Groove”
Heatwave — “The Groove Line” [disco version]
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: The Outfit
2.5 stars out of 5
I texted my friend Lex Burling right after seeing the trailer for this movie a while back. I needed to tell her that, on the front window of a tailor shop in the film, it prominently says “L. BURLING.” I also said in that text exchange that initially The Outfit looked pretty good but I was soon wondering, “Does this whole movie take place in one room?”
It indeed it does. Well, two and a half rooms, really: the shop’s front room, the tailor’s work room, and glimpses of a back room. If I’m being generous, this helps give the movie the feel of a stage play. Adding to that (trigger warning: rising snark), the stock secondary characters — the innocent secretary who wants to see the world, the ambitious son of a local crime boss, etc. — seem to theatrically deliver their lines rather than speaking naturally. And, less generously, I was also reminded of sitcoms’ “bottle episodes” in which the action is limited to very few sets for budgetary reasons. (Hijinks ensue when the gang accidentally gets trapped in the meat locker!)
Nevertheless, I got into a groove with The Outfit where I knew it wasn’t great but was enjoying it nonetheless. The excellent Mark Rylance, as the tailor whoops I mean cutter like they call them on Saville Row, was redeeming himself for his extremely annoying performance in Don’t Look Up. Zoey Deutch a.k.a. Lea Thompson’s daughter hubba hubba is convincing as a fresh-scrubbed assistant (“You don’t meet nice boys on Skid Row, Mr. Mushnik”) who collects snow globes of all the places she wants to travel. Hey, I collect snow globes too! I was connecting to the movie! I accepted that there wasn’t extensive character development because this is a genre gangster/mystery piece — the kindly old neighborhood craftsman looks the other way as the local hoods drop off their envelopes — hey I remember those from The Sopranos! — in a slot in a box in the shop.
But that peaceful coexistence goes out the window when the baddie No. 1 son gets shot (“I got a marble in my gut”) and ends up on the tailor’s table. Oh also it’s 1950s Chicago and the snow outside looks really fake. Are we inside one of those snow globes?!? #StElsewhere
The problem as I see it is that director/cowriter Graham Moore (who also wrote the good not great The Imitation Game) was saving up a whole lotta plot, with the whodunnits and the oh I didn’t expect thats, and it all comes spilling out at the end, as the movie collapses under the weight of twists and turns.
“Well, that got ridiculous,” I said to the two older women in the theater as the lights came up. No, they liked it; that’s what happens in this kind of movie. Hey, what do I know; to each his own.
Aquarium Playlist, 4/19/22
EPISODE #483: MUSEUMS
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
The Modern Lovers — “Girl Friend”
Pete Galub and Matt Kanelos — “Museum of Brotherly Love”
Daniel Johnston — “Museum of Love”
Robyn Hitchcock & the Venus 3 — “Museum of Sex”
Aimee Mann — “At the Frick Museum”
The Clientele — “The Museum of Fog”
Danny Cohen — “Museum of Dannys”
Game Theory — “Museum of Hopelessness”
Notches — “Museum of More Dumb Art”
Lightning in a Twilight Hour — “The Memory Museum”
They Might Be Giants — “The Edison Museum”
They Might Be Giants — “Museum of Idiots”
Frankie Rose — “Red Museum”
Mount Eerie w/ Julie Doiron — “When I Walk Out of the Museum”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack Silbert, curator