3.5 stars out of 5
Of the pandemic-era theatrical releases I’ve attended, Godzilla vs. Kong is the first one that really needs to be seen on a big screen. Too bad, then, that it’s not a better movie.
Which is not to say it’s awful. The vaguely intertwined Godzilla and Kong films from 2014 on have been generally pretty good. I even thought the most recent one, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, was very good. But, as they say, one Tokyo-crushing-step forward, two steps back.
We don’t even get Tokyo — it’s Florida (which, let’s face it, sort of deserves a Titan thrashing) and then Hong Kong. The basic plot: Last movie, we thought Godzilla was a good guy, so why is he being such a jerk now? They bring King Kong over from Skull Island to fight him. Well, that would have been an easy-to-follow plot. But what actually happens is they take Kong away from his home to Antarctica to find a secret power source in the hollow middle of Earth, which is mind-bogglingly stupid. And just wait till you find out what evil Apex Cybernetics, run by evil Demián Bichir (Marco Ruiz on The Bridge and he also starred in the Montefiore Health System adverfilm Corazón), plans to do with the secret power source!
Coach Taylor and daughter Maddie (Millie Bobby Brown) are back from King of the Monsters. Unfortunately, Kyle Chandler has nothing to do here except be an extremely inattentive dad. Which allows Maddie to yet again sneak off and evade ridiculously lax corporate security. This time she’s accompanied by talented actor Brian Tyree Henry (who had about 3 lines in Joker) as a giant-monster conspiracy podcaster. [Note to Hollywood: Please don’t portray conspiracy theorists as the good guys.] David Strathairn, who was in the last two Godzilla flicks, is MIA. On the Kong side, no actors are back from Skull Island because that was a period piece, kinda KK84. So we get the lovely and talented Rebecca Hall and a sign-language-wielding kid who has a special relationship with the big monkey. Blah! Also, these movies like to cast a token “elite” actor and this time it’s Alexander Skarsgård. But instead of raising up the material, he lowers his performance to it.
Luckily, the movie frequently lives up to its title, and the fight scenes are awesome. Genuinely thrilling! That’s why you wore a mask to the multiplex and used a self-checkout machine even to order popcorn, and they make it worth your while. Two sequences made me laugh out loud with glee. A third made me laugh with mockery but who cares! The action raises this movie from garbage to, you know, pretty good. You drive me ape, you big gorilla!
Movie Review: Godzilla vs. Kong
Aquarium Playlist, 4/13/21
EPISODE #430: RAINBOWS
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Kermit the Frog — “Rainbow Connection”
The Rolling Stones — “She’s a Rainbow”
James Lindsey featuring Cicily Bullard — “Rainbows”
Ernest Tubb — “Rainbow at Midnight”
World Party — “When the Rainbow Comes”
Calvin Johnson — “Bubbles, Clouds, and Rainbows”
Luna — “Rainbow Babe”
Built to Spill — “Bloody Rainbow”
Talulah Gosh — “Looking for a Rainbow”
The Ramones — “She Talks to Rainbows”
Dolly Mixture — “Rainbow Valley”
The Box Tops — “Neon Rainbow”
Frank Sinatra — “Over the Rainbow”
The Flaming Lips — “I Was Zapped by the Lucky Super Rainbow”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, New Jersey.
Aquarium Playlist, 4/6/21
EPISODE #429: #STOPASIANHATE
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
The Blue Hearts (Japan) — “Linda Linda”
Say Sue Me (South Korea) — “Old Town”
Versus (Filipino-American Richard X. Baluyut) — “Eskimo”
Dirty Beaches (Taiwanese-Canadian Alex Zhang Hungtai) — “True Blue”
Thao (Vietnamese American) — “Beat (Health, Life, and Fire)”
Hiperson (China) — “Strawberries”
Bitch Magnet (South Korean-American Sooyoung Park) — “Joyless Street”
Drinking Boys and Girls Choir (South Korea) — “National Police Shit”
Space Streakings (Japan) — “Dream Dump Island”
Grrrl Gang (Indonesia) — “Dream Grrrl”
Shonen Knife (Japan) — “Watchin’ Girl”
The Juan MacLean (Chinese/Korean-American Nancy Whang) — “One Day”
Dogstar (South Korea) — “Normal Boy”
Otoboke Beaver (Japan) — “Don’t Light My Fire”
Jane Lai (Chinese American) — “Packing Tape”
Hazy Sour Cherry (Japan) — “Tour de Tokyo”
The 5.6.7.8s (Japan) — “Woo Hoo”
Half Japanese — “Charmed Life”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: Nobody
3 stars out of 5
I’m trying to support the open movie theaters. The only problem is, there are no damn movies! So a while back, when I read that Godzilla vs. Kong would be released on March 26, I thought to myself, “There’s something I’d enjoy doing on my second pandemic birthday weekend.” Except it wasn’t released on March 26. Thanks for ruining my birthday, Gojira!
I skimmed the dreck for something else to see. The best of the bunch, for my tastes anyway, appeared to be Nobody starring Bob Odenkirk. I like Bob Odenkirk, all the way back to Mr. Show. I’ve been less interested in him as a dramatic actor but, I like Bob Odenkirk. And the poster had his face looking all beat up, surrounded by punching fists, so that looked pretty funny. Metacritic clocked in at 63. Acceptable.
Now, I’m a big fan of the “ordinary schlub thrown into extraordinary circumstances” genre. Perhaps the greatest of all time is Martin Scorsese’s After Hours, which I recently watched for a second time and found it to be just as excellent as I did when I was 18 — maybe more so. Nobody seems like it’s going to be that kind of movie, but then it isn’t. So that was a disappointment for me, and it took me a little longer to get into the groove (boy you’ve got to prove your love to meeeeeeeee). But when I did, I enjoyed the film.
Mind you, this is not a great movie. Was distracted from the get-go by the bad wig and Statham-stubble that Odenkirk is sporting. The writing is merely serviceable; Odenkirk makes the dialogue sound better than it is. Some characters, such as the brother-in-law, are too cartoonish and took me out of the story (which I won’t spoil for you). Odenkirk is solid but no other actors — including Christopher Lloyd and RZA — particularly stand out. The overall feeling is a bit too slick/phony.
But… it mostly works. If you like guns, knives, punching, and Russian mobsters, you will enjoy this. There’s a breathless, goofy momentum to the action, with enough genuine laughs tossed in. It gets over-the-top stupid toward the end but, you know, my expectations were pretty well shot by then anyway. Not everybody will love Nobody but somebody will.
Aquarium Playlist, 3/30/21
EPISODE #428: GUESS
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Temples — “The Guesser”
Dany Laj & the Looks — “Don’t Keep Me Guessin’” [radio mix]
R.E.M. — “Second Guessing”
Martha Reeves & the Vandellas — “Love, Guess Who”
Superchunk — “I Guess I Remembered It Wrong”
Johnny Cash — “I Guess Things Happen That Way”
Glen Campbell — “Guess I’m Dumb”
Steve Goodman — “Just Lucky I Guess” [live]
Nilsson — “I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City”
The Lucksmiths — “Anyone’s Guess”
Thom Yorke — “Guess Again!”
Papercuts — “I’ll See You Later I Guess”
Midlake — “I Guess I’ll Take Care”
Jack White — “I Guess I Should Go To Sleep”
So Cow — “Guess Who’s Dead”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 3/23/21
EPISODE #427: 52
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
John Doe — “Take #52”
Radiohead — “House of Cards”
Robert Plant — “House of Cards”
Patsy Cline — “Turn the Cards Slowly”
The Clash — “The Card Cheat”
Elvis Presley — “From a Jack to a King”
Ben Carruthers & the Deep — “Jack o’ Diamonds”
The Daily Flash — “Jack of Diamonds”
Bob Dylan — “Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts”
Motörhead — “Ace of Spades”
Super Furry Animals — “Show Your Hand”
Wilco — “Solitaire”
Leonard Cohen — “The Stranger Song”
Robyn Hitchcock — “Fifty-Two Stations”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 3/16/21
EPISODE #426: ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2021
another salute to Joe Hurley’s All-Star Irish Rock Revue
Jackie Wilson — “Danny Boy” [ALTERNATE THEME]
Aideen O’Brien and the Five Fifths — “She Moved Through the Fair”
Thin Lizzy — “The Boys Are Back in Town”
The Undertones — “My Perfect Cousin”
Van Morrison — “Domino”
Sinéad O’Connor — “Black Boys on Moped”
The Men of No Property — “The Bogside Man”
Stiff Little Fingers — “Alternative Ulster”
U2 — “Pride (In the Name of Love)”
Elvis Costello & the Attractions — “Pump It Up”
The Pogues — “Sally MacLennane”
Dexy’s Midnight Runners — “Come On Eileen”
Sex Pistols — “God Save the Queen”
Rogue’s March — “Shut Up and Drink”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 3/9/21
EPISODE #425: BREAKFAST
The Who — “Happy Jack” [acoustic; ALTERNATE THEME]
Orange Juice — “Breakfast Time”
Art Brut — “Awkward Breakfast”
The Incredible Casuals — “Love Gets Breakfast”
Tom Waits — “Eggs and Sausage (In a Cadillac With Susan Michelson)”
The Magnetic Fields — “The Best Cup of Coffee in Tennessee”
High Waisted — “Cereal”
They Might Be Giants featuring Elma Mayer — “Please Pass the Milk”
Slothrust — “Juice”
Frank Zappa — “Muffin Man”
Sir Douglas Quintet — “Bacon Fat”
The Bachelor Pad — “Country Pancake”
Tall Dwarfs — “Oatmeal”
Monty Python — “Spam Song”
The White Stripes — “Ball and Biscuit”
Dusty Springfield — “Breakfast in Bed”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Other Important Dates on the QAnon Calendar
The U.S. House of Representatives canceled their session today, fearing further violence because of yet another QAnon conspiracy. This one claimed that disgraced former president Donald Trump would somehow be inaugurated on March 4, 2021. The intrepid research staff at Salt in Wound HQ have uncovered additional dates that these far-right nutjobbers are eagerly anticipating.
March 5 — Wait, We Meant This Is the Inauguration Day
April 12 — Some Sort of Cross-Promotion With Qdoba? Brainstorm Sesh
May 3 — Jewish Space Laser Tag meetup
June 22 — But Her E-Mails Day
July 11 — Earth Is Flat and Triangles Have Four Sides Day (*and Free Slurpee Day, yay!)
August 9 — Pizza Party Except Not From One Those Places With the Underground Pedophile Clubs
September 16 — Costume Contest Hosted by Horn-Helmet Guy
October 32 — Lamestream Media’s Date Cover-Up Day
November 2 — No, Really This Time, This Will Be the Inauguration Because, Come On, the Dominion Machines and the Hard Drive and Also Dead People Voting Plus Matt Gaetz Said So, Wah Wah Waaaah!!
December 21 — Mayan Calendar End of World… What, They Were Mexicans? Aw Forget It!
Aquarium Playlist, 3/2/21
EPISODE #424: WOMEN’S HISTORY MONTH 2021
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Tacocat — “Crimson Wave”
Phoebe Bridgers — “Kyoto”
Dolly Parton — “Dumb Blonde”
The Cyclones — “I’m in Heaven”
Shiny Times — “Easy”
Julee Cruise — “Rockin’ Back Inside My Heart”
Cocteau Twins — “Cherry-Coloured Funk”
Earwig — “You Don’t Even Come Close”
The Exbats — “You Don’t Get It (You Don’t Got It)”
Taylor Swift — “Seven”
Lala Lala — “I Get Cut”
Girl Friday — “Favorite Friend”
Lilly Hiatt — “P-Town”
Julien Baker — “Hurt Less”
Lesley Gore — “You Don’t Own Me”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack Silbert, curator