March 2008

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Jazz the Glass

Our local newspaper has a weekly, locally-written do-it-yourself home repair column. Authored by a single woman in her 30s, it has a breezy, sit-com feel, more about her travails than about offering any practical knowledge. I took little notice until recently, when the name Cabaret Voltaire registered in my peripheral vision. It was in a […]

How do you bowl a 37?

I took Isa bowling when we were in Lake Tahoe. I strongly suggested that she not use the bumpers. She was amenable to the idea–she was five hundred miles from home, there were no peers around and the stakes were low. She bowled a 44, and we celebrated wildly. But I expect more from someone […]

Tony La Russa is a passive aggressive fuck

Anthony Reyes is not a great pitcher. But he has the potential to be a decent starter. If only his manager and pitching coach would stop clucking like a couple of hens. Yesterday, Reyes pitched six shutout innings in his latest audition for the St. Louis Cardinal rotation. But there were dark intimations the wind […]

Never Too Young for Mail Fraud

We get letters from kids where I work, and reading them is an extremely gratifying part of my job. But it wasn’t the contents of a recent letter from a San Diego 6th-grader that caught my attention—it was the envelope itself. “My, that’s an awfully large stamp,” I thought to myself. “Hmmm, stamps don’t usually […]


Dianna and I spent a quick weekend in New York. We made no plans to look up friends due to lack of time, but we were walking down Broadway just as two of Dianna’s friends stepped outside for a cigarette. We’d heard they were paying thirty-thousand a month for their loft, so eagerly accepted their […]

Why would a grown man play fantasy baseball?

It hasn’t brought me closer to my wife and family. Or to the people I play fantasy baseball with. And yet it’s an absolute priority in my life. I’ve already gone on record that there was nothing funny about the scene in Knocked Up where they interrupt the fantasy baseball draft, because there’s nothing funny […]