Movie Review: The Sitter

1.5 stars out of 5

It’s Jonah Hill’s last movie as a big fat guy! (For now, anyway.) And like the thinner fellow we’ve seen emerge, there’s a mediocre movie trying to break free from this unfortunately crappy film. It almost gets there, but alas there is too much shoddiness and willful stupidity from the filmmakers to be overcome.

Which is a shame, because Jonah Hill gives a funny, warm-hearted performance. With his work here and in Moneyball, he’s had a solid few months. (Though the trailer for him in 21 Jump Street was shown before this, and boy that looks like utter garbage.) This starts out harmless enough: It’s Adventures in Babysitting with a fat guy instead of Elisabeth Shue. Or After Hours with a fat guy instead of Griffin Dunne. Slacker Hill saves his single mom’s night out by filling in for a neighbor’s sitter. Zaniness ensues, and that’s watchable enough.

Where does it go wrong? All over the place. Two of the three kids’ characters immediately become unbearable. There’s the celeb-obsessed, overly mature little girl who quotes naughty rap lyrics. Yawn. Then there’s a crazily racist portrayal of the adopted Latino son. What the hell, guys? The little anxious fellow doesn’t add much, but I didn’t hate him at least.

Hill’s character takes everyone aside at some point and lays some gentle, philosophical truth on them. It feels so forced into the script. Which is also a shame, as Hill delivers these monologues with real feeling. He’s trying here, he really is.

Sam Rockwell shows up as a quirky, male-loving drug kingpin. He’s mildly amusing but overall it feels like he’s slumming. Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm is Rockwell’s sidekick. Whatever.

Then the writers and director get really lazy and start piling on explosions and guns and car chases. (Good to see Method Man again, at least.) And the movie gets worse and worse. It’s only 81 minutes long, but feels much, much longer.

David Gordon Green is the director. He also helmed Your Highness, perhaps the worst movie I saw this year. (Will be compiling that list soon.) While this is significantly better, believe me, that’s not saying very much at all.