THe New York Yankees signed White Sox third baseman Kevin Youkilis (what? he played for another team?) to a one-year, $12 million contract. This raises a burning question for Yankees fans. And it’s not “Will Youk be a competent fill-in for injured A-Rod at the hot corner” or “Will Youkilis and Joba finally bury the hatchet.” No, fans will be sitting on pins-and-needles throughout the offseason wondering what radio announcer John Sterling’s personalized home-run call for Youkilis will be. Here, I humbly offer some suggestions.
—”Youk KILLED it!”
—”Not gone? Surely Youk-kid-us!”
—”Kevin just climbed the Youkilyptus tree!”
—”That ball is no Local-Youkil!”
—”Restring the Youkil-ele, Margaret!”
—”Youk can DO it!” [said in Rob Schneider voice]
—”Does Youk Know Mr. Spalding?” [takeoff of 1907 hit “Do You Know Mr. Schneider” composed by Monckton and Grossmith, and no connection to earlier Rob Schneider reference]
—”We need to talk about Kevin, because he just hit a homerun!”
—”What a bullet! I hope fans are wearing their Kev-lar!”
—”A swing smoother than KY jelly, which are coincidentally his initials!”
grrrrrrroooooooooooaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn
I mean, great job! 😉