Today, the U.S. Senate confirmed the supremely unqualified Betsy DeVos as secretary of the Department of Education. Ignoring her many critics, the billionaire has just announced the first sweeping initiatives to prove she can more than handle this important position.
— Pick up dry cleaning for the boss to show I’m a real good secretary! Wait, what? I’M the boss?? Schnikeys!
— Out: tater tots, chocolate milk. In: beluga caviar, Chateau Lafite.
— Switch to No. 3 pencils, because No. 2 always reminds me of doody.
— Update Pledge of Allegiance to read “One nation, under Jesus Christ, ultimate leader of the only true religion and anyone who doesn’t believe that is doomed to eternal hellfire…”
— Something about vouchers, which I like! (Note to self: Find out what a voucher is.)
— Build a wall around all Spanish classes.
— Three weeks at my favorite resort on St. Bart’s. This secretarying is exhausting!
— Do some serious research into this whole “public school” thing, but if they’re anything like public golf courses, uh, no thank you!
— Institute program to end bullying once and for all, except against gay kids because that is just gross.
— Posters in every school across the country: “The only way to stop a bad grizzly with a gun is a good grizzly with a gun.”
So funny! I haven’t thought about No. 2 pencils and “number two” in years. Schnickeys!
I’m all for good Grizzlies with guns. An extreme interpretation of the 2nd Amendment need not conflict with environmental stewardship and the expansion of responsible gun-owning wildlife populations.
Lisa, I caught the story regarding Grizzlies just yesterday. I’s so difficult to keep up with the Trumpf soap opera.
So when I first saw your comment, my mmediate thought was toward the Grizzly Man movie. Have you seen it? Hrzog directed I believe. The ‘star’ of the movie is a kook, but vErY compelling narrative from what I remember ten ye=ars back.