1. See some shitty famous band just in case that “10 bands I’ve seen/1 I haven’t” meme comes around again.
2. Invent a smartphone selfie attachment that’s just an arrow saying “camera is here.”
3. Recruit an unbeatable personal army comprised only of transgender soldiers and maybe also stage a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
4. Withhold judgement till I’ve walked a mile in someone else’s prosthetics.
5. Totally cool it with the groping, leering, exposing myself, inappropriate comments and jokes, but if you think I’m taking down my Cheryl Tiegs poster you’ve got another thing coming.
6. Journey to the center of the Earth and/or a Tootsie Pop.
7. Suggest to the Fleet Enema people that perhaps their bottles shouldn’t look exactly like an Elmer’s Glue bottle and hint that just maybe I found out the hard way.
8. Encourage kids to take a knee during “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”
9. Re-do Skid Row’s “Eighteen and Life” as “2018 and Life;” sit back and watch the money roll right in.
10. Make America Less Dickheaded Again
• My resolutions for 2017
• My resolutions for 2016
• My resolutions for 2015
• My resolutions for 2014
• My resolutions for 2013
• My resolutions for 2012
For number 5 it should be “another think comimg”.
True, but I’ll defer to Judas Priest this time.
Judas Priest, huh? I hear they got ALL the blues out of rock music, that Black
Sabbath came close but JP are the ones that really completely excised it. Sound about right?