Movie Review: M3GAN

3 stars out of 5

Yes, I’m giving this E, uh I mean 3, stars. Like last year’s Barbarian, the filmmakers here are trying to do something a little different within the horror genre, and I appreciate that. Unfortunately, M3GAN’s filmmakers don’t try very hard. The result is pretty fun and certainly watchable, but ultimately forgettable.

So, we live in world with increasing artificial intelligence, with Alexa, Siri, yadda yadda, and what if toys became sentient and independent thinkers? That would be cool but maybe also kind of dangerous, don’t you think? Eh, let’s not worry about it and just see how it plays out, ok? OK!

Allison Williams, who seemed a lot more compelling on the small screen, is type-A tech wiz Gemma who suddenly becomes guardian of her dead sister’s daughter Cady. She’s not really cut out to be a mom, but maybe this robot doll she’s been working on could help out…. Gemma’s jerky boss gets a whiff of this cool M3GAN project and all he sees are dollar signs! This could be the hottest thing since, I don’t know, imagine a loaf of bread that you didn’t have to just rip hunks off to make sandwiches and stuff! That would be a real-game-changer, right? And M3GAN could be too so let’s rush into production willy-nilly without careful testing or whatever!

Also seemingly rushed into production is young Violet McGraw as Cady, who apparently is only capable of pouting. But not to single her out, because none of the actors here seem particularly good. Nor is the script, which in more talented hands could’ve been a clever cautionary tale about our addiction to smart machines, but instead is just a lazy “what if?” Likewise, the director keeps things moving along but never makes M3GAN truly terrifying. I was hoping for a real over-the-top conclusion but they just stick with light horror paint-by-numbers. And that number is E, dangit!, 3.