opinion
These Eyes Spy Cheese Fries: The Return
I was talking with Kelli from the band Resounding No, and she mentioned a beloved childhood fast-food joint, Burger Express in Carteret. In researching it, she had stumbled upon a review I wrote which appeared in the New Jersey section of the New York Times way back on October 1, 2000. I asked if the […]
Meatball Sandwich Review: Frank & Joe’s
It was thrilling to learn how to drive again at the Kessler Institute for Rehabilitation in West Orange, New Jersey, this past June. But almost equally exciting was finding out that my instructor Maria’s father ran a pizza place in Paterson. I promised myself that when I was finally an approved driver, with hand controls […]
Jack’s 2018 Fall TV Preview
It’s mid-September and I really should be back at school. But before I matriculate (hey now!), my beloved Fall TV Preview returns after a four-year hiatus. The rules, for those who are new or need a refresher: 1) I have not seen any of these programs, and for the great majority never will. 2) I […]
Enough With the Guns Already
Another goddamn mass shooting. And this is why we can’t have nice things. Well, forget it, guns are done, and if you think otherwise, shut the fuck up, your opinion is no longer valid. “Wah, my Second Amendment rights.” Stick the Second Amendment up your ass, you non-18th-century-militia-member shitbag. “I’m protecting my family.” So your […]
Am I the Only Person Who Has Ever Been in a Restroom??
Every day, there’s some article, some trending item, some YouTube video, about transgender people and restrooms. And there’s a law in North Carolina, part of which says, well, no, you can only go in the room corresponding to the equipment you were born with. Who wrote this law? Who’s posting these videos? Space aliens posing […]
On gratuitous fucks
Films these days are cluttered with gratuitous fucks. I’m talking about good films, thoughtful films, ones with Oscar buzz. I understand there are commercial reasons for wanting your film to have an R rating, and if your film is a grown-up comedy of manners or tale of corporate intrigue mostly devoid of sex and violence, […]
Trending
I’ll admit it, I’m kind of addicted to the “trending” column on Facebook’s desktop version. Yes, it’s taken a little of the fun out of “discovering” celebrity deaths, but there is often some helpful or interesting info there. And yet, I am often left wondering, “Why the fuck is this trending?” What I’ve done right […]
What I’ve Been Watching: Edition X
“TV is my friend,” sings Colleen Green, “and it has been with me every day from an early age.” I have initiated legal action against Ms. Green for obviously plagiarizing my life. While I wait for my briefs to be be filed (hey now!), here is my biannual rundown of the new or new-to-me shows […]
Hey Idiots, Stop Using Incorrect Quotes From the Internet
There’s been some hullabaloo this week, because the U.S. Postal Service issued a Maya Angelou stamp with a big quote that ISN’T HERS. There was Oprah, and the First Lady, and everybody’s on stage in front of this giant blow-up of this big stupid mistake and it’s hugely embarrassing. And the Postal Service found out […]
Meatball Sandwich Review: Two Boots
Sheila “gets” me. She knew, when she e-mailed me a photo of her lunch a few weeks ago, that I’d totally appreciate it. “oh my god i want that,” I replied. “i want three. maybe i want six.” Sheila had obtained them at the Two Boots in Grand Central Terminal. She said they were “pretty […]
Jack Silbert, curator