I just bought toilet paper at the CVS Pharmacy. I had used my last squares earlier in the day. It felt a little weird buying just toilet paper, but I couldn’t think of anything else I needed. (It is a spartan existence I lead.) Still, I couldn’t quite shake that old “I’ll take the Trojan-brand product…and this pack of M&M’s” urge. Throw the clerks off the trail of my shopping excursion’s primary purpose. Did I need a greeting card? Chew toy? Cuticle scissors? But then it hit me: I could conduct this one-item transaction without shame. The cashier would not be condescendingly thinking, “Now here’s a guy who has to go to the can!” Because if I really, really needed to go to the bathroom, I wouldn’t be stopping to purchase toilet tissue.
No. I’d be ducking into the Barnes & Noble.
Jack Silbert, curator