by Ogg
1. The indispensability of the wheel is greatly overblown. My club, my loincloth, cro-magnon woman—I can reach them all from where I’m crouching, in a pile of my own feces. So why would I possibly want to go over there?
2. If I did want to go over there—and to reiterate: I do not—hello! Look at the bottom of my legs! What do you see there? Feet! They work perfectly well. I am reminded of the old saying: “We don’t need to reinvent the feet.”
3. It is the same shape as hot yellow thing and also not-hot white thing. By creating wheel you are mocking Great Sky Demon and basically just asking to be attacked and destroyed.
4. Have you ever seen one of those things on a steep hill? Uh, thank you but no thank you!
5. Remember “fire”? And everyone saying that was going to “change everything” and “make everything better”? But what did it end up doing? If you don’t remember I will remind you. Things that were normal it turned brown and sometimes even black. And all breaky-aparty.
6. Why don’t you have a conversation about where is the beginning of the wheel and where is the end of it. Menawhile i will count hot yellow thing, non-hot white thing, hot yellow thing again, you get the idea, and meanwhile hit things with club and drag woman by hair and get a whole lot done. And oh, you are still trying to find the beginning, aren’t you?
7. Wheel works OK on skinny part. But on fat part—it does not work at all! That is stupid.
8. What’s next, two wheels? You see what I’m getting at. It will escalate and just get silly. Three wheels. Four wheels! EIGHTEEN wheels!! Ha ha I am just joking but again, you see where I’m going.
9. They say there are no more dinosaurs but do you really want to take wheel way over there and—whoops—find out there are still dinosaurs? I know I don’t.
10. Has anyone thought that maybe with a flat edge it wouldn’t roll around so much? That, maybe I would use.
Jack Silbert, curator