Sheila “gets” me. She knew, when she e-mailed me a photo of her lunch a few weeks ago, that I’d totally appreciate it.
“oh my god i want that,” I replied. “i want three. maybe i want six.”
Sheila had obtained them at the Two Boots in Grand Central Terminal. She said they were “pretty good” but she’d had to “wait a long time.”
Two Boots, huh? I should’ve recognized the font. I Googled my closest Two Boots, in Jersey City, and learned that their listed price for three meatball sliders was $5.75. So not only did I not have to go into midtown to eat them, but I’d also be saving $1.20. Boo-ya!
On Tuesday the 20th, I was attending an event in Jersey City across the street from Two Boots. Things seemed to be working out very well—very well indeed.
Ah, but there weren’t any sliders in the glass display case when I arrived, and I started to get nervous. Also, they were listed under “appetizers” and, I don’t know, I’m kind of uncomfortable ordering an appetizer as a main dish. Is it going to be filling enough? Will the serving person think less of me? Maybe I should just bail.
But karma decided to help me out a little. I let two young women get in line in front of me. I had just met them across the street (and if you’re in need of high-end cleaning services in Jersey City, why not contact the lovely and charming Amelia at Maid in JC). Coincidentally, they asked the counter guy about sliders, so I could just eavesdrop. The less effort I have to make, the better.
Ah, but karma could only take me so far. It would be a 20-25 minute wait for meatball sliders. Sheila wasn’t kidding! My friend Patrick was giving me a ride home and I just didn’t have that much time to burn. I reluctantly settled on a pepperoni slice but told those sliders that I would undoubtedly return.
A week and a day later, I returned to downtown Jersey City, but wasn’t sure that I’d be able to fulfill my vow. I had a rehearsal for a show that you should really consider attending if at all possible, and I wasn’t sure how late it was going to run. There were a few factors to consider: time (what places would be open), temperature (which was supposed to be plummeting that evening), and mode of transport back home (which time and temperature would ultimately determine).
It wasn’t obscenely cold when rehearsal ended, so I decided I would walk home. But first… another visit to Two Boots.
Again, no sliders in the case, but now I knew that wasn’t a deal-breaker. In fact, they did still have sliders; it would be a 10-15 minute wait. OK, that was an improvement, at least. And it meant that they had to prepare the sliders, not just pop them in a microwave. Did I want anything else?, asked the counter man. Yes I did: a Pepsi and the last remaining chocolate chip cookie, thank you very much.
The cookie purchase concluded about 32 hours of chocolate-chip anxiety. The previous day, I’d eaten lunch at the Hoboken Hot House café. The panini there was good but I was still a little peckish afterwards, and decided to get a chocolate chip cookie, as I’d done during my previous visit to the café. But nope, no cookies today. And that night, I ended up at Qdoba, where I planned to order a chicken quesadilla and a chocolate chip cookie. And yet, they were out of cookies as well.
At last, things were coming together for me.
In less than 10 minutes, my sliders were ready.
Each slider had a generous slice of meatball on it. The meat definitely seemed fresh if not exactly bursting with flavor. Ah, but that was OK, as the rest of the slider easily compensated for it. The marinara sauce brought a spicy kick to the proceedings. And the ingenious bisected garlic-knot roll added a couple more notes to the mix: garlic (duh) and parmesan. The mozzarella did its job, holding things together. The result was a pretty tasty meatball slider. It wasn’t as much cumulative meat as you’d get in a meatball sandwich, but with my cookie and Pepsi, I was certainly satisfied. In fact, as I walked home, I didn’t give a second thought to the 2-for-$5 Yumbos at the Burger King I passed. I’ll own up to one thought, but there absolutely wasn’t a second one.
• Meatball sandwich review #1: Spring Street Natural (NYC)
• Meatball sandwich review #2: Sanpanino (NYC)
• Meatball sandwich review #3: Pizza Per Tutti (Aruba)
• Meatball sandwich review #4: Favia Pizza (Jersey City, NJ)
• Meatball sandwich review bonus: Jersey Meatball Company (North Bergen, NJ)
Are you worrying about where you’ll get your next cookie or is that over now?
I like cookies, but I try not to buy them for home too often, because i will eat them all quickly. I am at a year in the Complete Peanuts in which Snoopy is cookie-obsessed, so maybe they’ve been on my mind more than usual. I do like cookies.
I think your quest should become a movie. Maybe NPH can be in it. Anyway, those meatballs sound yum.
Jack, I need to make you a meatball sandwich/slider/wedge/sub.