Movie Review: Dune

3.5 stars out of 5

Never read Dune, never watched Dune. In middle school it seemed like a lot of dudes were reading it. Not. And even though I loved Sting and later, David Lynch, no interest in the movie.

Decades went by, and finally I decided to check out the reboot — in a theater as the Lord intended — directed by Denis Villeneuve, who I mostly like (Prisoners and Blade Runner 2049, yay; Arrival nay).

I mostly liked this Dune. I thought a lot about Star Wars while watching it. That’s not Dune’s fault; the book was written long before George Lucas dreamed up his galaxy far, far away. But still, in my mind, we get Timothée Chalamet as Luke Skywalker, hanging out on Tatooine, needing training as a Jedi. Except it’s not Tatooine, it’s… Spiceworld? And there’s an ecological message as relevant today as it will be in the year 10191 (if man is still alive). Because money-hungry outsiders come to plunder the natural resources — mining the spice, my precious, along the Fury Road — with no regard for the native peoples. Little Prince Chalamet and his royal dad (Oscar Isaac) come to do the spice mining but they’re not evil like the other guys who were mining just before them. Who as soon as they leave turn around and come back. Also there are 800-foot worms.

If Dune were a relationship status: It’s complicated. If only I’d read the book! But should you need to read a book to understand a movie? I didn’t read a Star Wars novel at age 8 and could follow that plot easily: The good guys needed to stop the bad guys from finishing the Death Star. Its name was the DEATH STAR fer crissakes. Here the baddies are the Harkevorkians or some such nonsense, but at least they wear black for quick identification.

Yes, the film is very well made, and the cast is strong. Chalamet who is slowly growing on me, is solid as the reluctant Messiah. Isaac is money in the bank as Good King Beardy. Rebecca Ferguson, who I appreciated as Ilsa Faust in a couple of Mission: Impossible flicks, is believable as the conflicted mom queen. (She’s only 12 years older than Chalamet but, whatevs.) Stellan Skarsgård is amusing as Jabba the Hut. Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem learn that the desert is no country for old men. Jason Momoa gets to kick butt and I think Groot is in this too.

There are cool space planes that look like houseflies. And rows and rows of soldiers like in that other Star Wars movie. And quality fight sequences. Just when I was ready to give this 4 stars it… kept going… through a dust cloud…. I had sudden flashbacks to trying to watch that first Star Trek movie on TV as a tween. The Enterprise was traveling through a space cloud and it was taking foreeeeeeever and was soooooo boooooorrrrring. I feel like Villeneuve and his editors could’ve trimmed 20 to 30 minutes off this movie. I’m on board for part II but was saddened to realize a big difference from Star Wars: There’s really no fun in Dune. I’m not saying they need Jar Jar Binks in the sequel, but, maybe lighten up.