2 stars out of 5
It was a drizzly winter day on the Jersey shore and I had hours to kill. “Oh, I’ll see a movie,” I thought. Alas, Asbury Park’s art theater isn’t open mid-week in the off-season. I had no choice but to go to the mall multiplex. This, of course, was no problem for me. Being “high brow/low brow” is kind of my thing. Plus, I really liked the previous Ant-Man installment (though I had found part 1 to be mediocre at best).
Chapter 3 is, um, what’s that phrase, ah yes… not good. I have some free advice to the Marvel brass: Take a step back. How about one hero, one villain, and, I don’t know, the fate of a city at stake or something? This time-shifting, parallel-world, all-powerful-being nonsense is ridonkulous. Ant-Man and his crew fall through a portal into some alternate universe (the “Quantum realm”) and I was reminded of being a kid trying to watch that first Star Trek movie and the Enterprise is going through a big space cloud… and going through a big space cloud… and going through a big space cloud… and it was so BORING.
Paul Rudd and pals land, and in classic sitcom form, two of the characters are off on one adventure and the other two handle the B plot. How will they get home? How will they stop the Worst Dude in the Galaxy? And how will they overcome having a screenwriter who doesn’t seem to know anything about science, though the whole series is predicated on genius-level scientific knowledge? (“How does it work? Um… it’s like those two-way radios we used to build.”)
Plus they rip off Star Wars with a supporting cast straight outta the Cantina and also a bunch of Jawas. Human-wise, Rudd is Rudd. He gets some cute Rudd stuff to do in the beginning. Evangeline Lilly, who had lots to do in Part II, has not very much to do in this installment (and her hair scorecard is now Pt 1, bad; Pt. 2, good; Pt. 3, bad). I’m embarrassed for Michael Douglas, who seems like a terrific guy but is tarnishing his career with his money-grubbing run as Dr. Hank Pym. Michelle Pfeiffer at least gets a more substantial role this time around. Bill Murray shows up and tries to add some zing to his lines, but they dress him up in a silly space costume with a high collar that really showcases his neck fat, which I found pretty distracting. Jonathan Majors is supervillain Captain Kangaroo King Kong Bundy Voldemort… eh, he’ll get another chance as a baddie soon in Creed III.
This movie is too long and not much fun, but if — like me — you’re merely looking to kill time on a rainy day, I guess it’ll do. Find a theater with comfortable seats, recliners if possible.
I think Mr Feige has to take a breathe and take stock in his “universe” or he may be passing the point of diminishing returns.
Notice should be taken that in the mid 80s Marvel comics really had no multiverse to speak of and DC’s got so convoluted and out of hand the company spent a year trying to destroy it and rebuild.
Crossovers are cute but content is cuter.