Movie Review: The Conjuring — Last Rites

3.5 stars out of 5

If you’re keeping score: First I watched The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2, Annabelle Comes Home, and Annabelle: Creation on cable. In 2021, I went to the theater to see The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. Since then on cable I’ve watched Annabelle and The Nun.

I returned to the multiplex for The Conjuring: Last Rites. It was 2:15 pm on a Saturday in Brick, New Jersey and I figured I’d have the theater mostly to myself. But no, the ticketing kiosk indicated a pretty packed showing, and I was relegated to the front show. I looked up my review of Devil Made Me Do It and saw that the first screening of that I attempted to attend was sold out. People love this spooky trash! And I kind of do also.

I do get annoyed when they try to convince the audience that the paranormal is REAL. “Some regard the Warrens as leaders in the mainstream acceptance of yadda-yadda.” Phooey! And this one begins with a flashback to 1964, when supposedly a creepy mirror tried to interfere with the birth of the Warrens daughter. And I’m screaming (in my head) at the screen, “Oh just because the hospital’s power goes out and the baby doesn’t breathe immediately doesn’t mean the supernatural is involved! Didn’t these people watch The Pitt?”

My other recurring pet peeve is Vera Farmiga’s wardrobe. The filmmakers are dreaming up all kinds of nonsensical shit. So why are they sticking so close to the facts regarding Lorraine Warren dressing like a Little House on the Prairie school marm??

OK, one more disappointment: They recast the role of daughter Judy. Sterling Jerins had played her from age 9 to 17 (with a quick detour to McKenna Grace in Annabelle Comes Home). Now when Judy finally has a meaty part, Sterling is out and Mia Tomlinson is in. At least the same guy has played Father Gordon five times, and the same guy has been Drew four times. And “Brad” from part I shows up at a barbecue.

All that aside, this installment is a lot of fun: good scares, a few laughs, some nice weird touches. It’s 1986 so the music is solid (including one of my fave raves, “A Girl in Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing)” by Romeo Void). The plot, if you care, has a family in Pennsylvania ending up with OMG the same mirror that tried to off baby Judy back in ’64! And very bad things start happening. Just when the Warrens thought they were out, the man in the mirror pulls them back in.

Last Rites has been positioned as the final flick in the Conjuring Universe (I still need to see The Nun II to be a completist), but it’s clear the Warrens are handing the torch to Judy and her beau Tony, and a quick Google reveals that they are the real-life co-directors of the New England Society for Psychic Research. Oh friggin’ great, she dresses like her mom.