Movie Review: Project Hail Mary

4 stars out of 5

I feel like I’m about to write a negative review. Which is crazy, because I liked this movie. Look, I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. The thing is, I wanted it to be great. This movie was promoted for such a very long time. Months and months. I was so excited to see this movie. I love Ryan Gosling!

Project Hail Mary is not a great movie. As a general rule, films with two directors are not great. A great movie is one person’s vision. Not some other guy saying, “Whoa what if he says DUDE right here” or “You know what bro, I think I’m a woman” (Wachowskis only). Phil Lord and Christopher Miller previously directed The Lego Movie, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and the 21 Jump Street movies. That filmography does not really have a trajectory toward greatness. Family-friendly entertainment, sure. And I think that’s what Project Hail Mary is.

Also, can I please say there were one too many trailers? Trailer 1 was wacky: Gosling was all “hey I’m not qualified to be an astronaut” and they’re all “but you’re the only who can save the planet” and he’s all “D’ohhh!” Trailer 2 was, I think, Gosling encountering life in outer space. Ooh so there’s a twist. But then trailer 3 GIVES THE WHOLE FREAKING MOVIE AWAY. There’s an E.T.-like alien in this thing. There’s a goddamn New York Times article explaining how they make that puppet move and talk. And I get it: With all that cash and bitcoin they blew on advertising, the studio wants to MAXIMIZE ITS AUDIENCE. And revealing the cutesy creature makes you that much more likely to BRING THE KIDS. And buy branded merchandise.

It’s a good movie, despite having no surprises whatsoever. Gosling is terrific. Let’s have more movies starring Gosling. The science mumbo-jumbo is mostly understandable. The main thrust of the movie is not Astrophage-powered rockets but is in fact friendship and what we’re willing to do for true friends. I think I was supposed to get teary but i did not get teary, and I am a weepy motherf’er.

Marcus from The Bear is in this for a little bit.

If you haven’t seen Project Hail Mary yet and still want to, adjust your expectations and go. And let’s hope Lord and Miller have a falling out like the Safdies.