Queens Gazette

This is a letter I’ve had sitting on my desk for quite some time. It’s been there as a thing to send to Frank but I’ll just type it here. Strangely the Queens Gazette website has a different version of the letter. Did they actually bother to edit it? Or did the author have 2 versions. I think the printed version is better.
Dear Editor:

Last week at my local supermarket, I ordered a half pound of Virginia ham on sale at the deli department. While the deli counter person cut my meat, I went to the bakery area to get a roll for the sandwich I was going to take to work for lunch the next day. I had already bought a half pound of macaroni salad to go along with my sandwich. Ok-I guess you can say I’m a big eater.
Anyway, when I got home, unwrapped the ham, and saw the way the deli person had carved my meat, I was nearly in a state of shock! It was cut ultra thin. Each slice was thinner than a sheet of one ply toilet paper. I picked up a slice of ham, barely able to grasp it. The ham was nearly translucent. I had to look at it twice to see it once. I didn’t know if I was supposed to eat it or take a cross section and view it under a microscope.
I like a big thick slab of ham, or any cut of meat, something I can sink my teeth and crowns into. Well, the next time I order cold cuts, I will make sure to tell the deli person to cut me really thick slices. In fact, I will do it right now. I forgot to order the half pound of low sodium Swiss cheese to put on the other half of my sandwich!!!

Sincerely,
Mark Lane

Little Neck

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