Drop-kick me, Jesus

The following text has been tacked to my office bulletin board for a very, very long time, right next to the microwave:

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

If you find your family, friends, and career are impediments to success (rather than representing success), then it seems like a monastery is the only real option.

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