We’re No. 4! We’re No. 4!

Really, A&E? You’re bragging about this?

Sure, when I was a kid, Avis Rent-a-Car’s slogan was “We’re No. 2. We try harder.” Oh, it was a zany, innocent era: You could claim to be “no. 2” without any scatological connotations, while your rival’s ads featured O.J. Simpson running through airports. And there was some sound reasoning behind it. Maybe they would try harder to reach that top spot.

But No. 4?!? That’s…I don’t know…decent? Somewhat respectable? A bit underwhelming? I wouldn’t pat myself on the back too much. I mean, you’re off the medal stand. No one’s making a foam hand for you. You’re “honorable mention” at best.

(And, oh yeah, we still have pay phones in Manhattan.)

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