The U.S. House of Representatives canceled their session today, fearing further violence because of yet another QAnon conspiracy. This one claimed that disgraced former president Donald Trump would somehow be inaugurated on March 4, 2021. The intrepid research staff at Salt in Wound HQ have uncovered additional dates that these far-right nutjobbers are eagerly anticipating.
March 5 — Wait, We Meant This Is the Inauguration Day
April 12 — Some Sort of Cross-Promotion With Qdoba? Brainstorm Sesh
May 3 — Jewish Space Laser Tag meetup
June 22 — But Her E-Mails Day
July 11 — Earth Is Flat and Triangles Have Four Sides Day (*and Free Slurpee Day, yay!)
August 9 — Pizza Party Except Not From One Those Places With the Underground Pedophile Clubs
September 16 — Costume Contest Hosted by Horn-Helmet Guy
October 32 — Lamestream Media’s Date Cover-Up Day
November 2 — No, Really This Time, This Will Be the Inauguration Because, Come On, the Dominion Machines and the Hard Drive and Also Dead People Voting Plus Matt Gaetz Said So, Wah Wah Waaaah!!
December 21 — Mayan Calendar End of World… What, They Were Mexicans? Aw Forget It!
being underrated is overrated
Jack Silbert, curator