Hard-line conservatives, including many former Trump administration lackeys, have cobbled together a 900-page manic manifesto called Project 2025. That’s 144 pages longer than Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The organization behind the curtain of this dogmatic document is the “Heritage Foundation,” which is like the John Birch Society and the Klan, but a little farther right. Their document lays out goals for a second Trump presidency and beyond. But rather than focusing on 2025, the real objective seems to be taking us back to the 1950s. Journalists and activists have been combing through Project 2025 for the most regressive, dangerous concepts. Meanwhile, we here at SiW have dug up some of the documents’ odder entries.
• Rename 1987 Matthew Broderick chimpanzee movie Project X as Project MMXXV.
• Repeal women’s right to vote.
• Repeal Madonna’s right to Vogue.
• All mailmen should be men on account of it’s right in the name. Twice.
• New Surgeon General Doc from Back to the Future. That guy am smart.
• If a person can predict rain because of migraines or achey knees, they are witch and thrown in lake.
• Dancing outlawed and everyone’s degrees of Kevin Bacon set back to zero.
• Lather, rinse. No more repeat.
• Dental floss illegal. Super fudgy brownies mandatory.
• Make that Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy song the national anthem.
• Streets should be longer so for more parking.
• Find and deport Waldo.
• P.F. Chang’s now J.R. Ewing’s.
• If you are boy and you… are liking… other boy, don’t! Because, no. Wrong! If girl and to like girls, make sure videotape camera on.
• Line up on July 4, 2025 for compulsory Ronald Reagan ass tattoos.
Jack Silbert, curator