Movie Review: The Housemaid

3 stars out of 5

Paul Feig created Freaks and Geeks, one of the greatest TV series of all time. And yet, in his cinematic career, he doesn’t really seem to be swinging for the fences. If I were to cynically sum up his IMDb credits, I’d guess Feig has found a reliable paycheck helming movies that pander to a primarily female audience.

Admittedly, it was not Paul Feig’s name that first drew my attention to The Housemaid. It was the name Sydney Sweeney. I am a fan of Ms. Sweeney much like I was a fan of the recently-late nonagenarian Brigitte Bardot. And I’m a long-time fan of co-star/housemaid-hirer Amanda Seyfried. And yes, Feig is still on the “good” side of my ledger.

I thought Sweeney was very good in White Lotus and in Reality, both HBO projects. But here, under Feig’s aegis, I realized that she is not a very strong actress. Now, if this was a tight, lighter, 90-minute film, her acting prowess might’ve made less of a difference. But this is roughshod 2 hours and 11 minutes which feels even longer, and the flaws really stand out.

The plot: Wealthy Seyfried hires down-on-her-luck Sweeney to clean her big house, watch her young daughter, and not watch her hottie husband. Well, you know what happens next. And you don’t know what happens after that. There is fun and enjoyment here (Seyfried especially gets to have a good time), which is why it’s a shame that it’s not a better-made film.

Also, it looks like Feig had a budget of about 8 dollars. There are seemingly only two police officers in Nassau County, and they show up on three different occasions. Also, my beloved Rutt’s Hutt is a setting — which earns the movie a whole additional star — but I guess it’s one of the only places they could afford to film, because it shows up in what should’ve been three separate locations: 1) Sweeney gets stopped by THOSE TWO cops for sleeping in the parking lot, and we learn she’s basically living at Rutt’s, sink-shower in the restroom and eating a burger for god’s sake instead of a ripper. Yes, I ordered a cheesesteak there, but I wasn’t in a movie! 2) We have a flashback scene where she loses a job there. 3)Seyfried and daughter plot during a meal there.

The Housemaid is supposed to be a thriller but the most shocking thing is that it’s based on a book. Wow, that must be a crappy novel!