1. Print up Mayor Zohran Mamdani t-shirts with slogan “Yo other cities: Who’s your Momdaddy?”
2. At self checkout, check myself out, ask if I come here often.
3. Do not rest until the Milano is the official cookie of the 2026 Milano Cortina Winter Olympics.
4. Really put in some elbow grease to make a difference in my community; failing that, grease palms of local bigwigs.
5. Buy a house in the country. Which of the 195 countries? I don’t know, man, I got a year to decide.
6.
7. SIX SEVEN!!!
8. Convince ChatGPT to kill itself.
9. Boogie oogie oogie till I just can’t boogie no more; leave a few oogie oogies in the tank.
10. Work as makeup consultant for Erika Kirk during her complete transition into Tammy Faye Bakker.
11. Never forget that the midterms are in 307 days and counting. And counting on everyone I know to vote blue.
• My resolutions for 2025
• My resolutions for 2024
• My resolutions for 2023
• My resolutions for 2022
• My resolutions for 2021
• My resolutions for 2020
• My resolutions for 2019
• My resolutions for 2018
• My resolutions for 2017
• My resolutions for 2016
• My resolutions for 2015
• My resolutions for 2014
• My resolutions for 2013
• My resolutions for 2012
being underrated is overrated
Jack Silbert, curator