anecdotes
Packaged Food Instructions 1, Jack 0
Last Saturday night, the parking space I found was pretty close to the big fancy Shop-Rite supermarket in town. So I thought, hmmm, instead of getting a takeout chicken parm sub tonight, or ordering a pizza, or making due with the third-of-a-bag of Rold Gold thin pretzels in my apartment, I suppose I could purchase […]
I Have Magical X-Ray Powers!
I was at baggage claim at Newark Liberty International Jingleheimer-Schmidt Airport, and I thought to myself, “That’s an amusing sign. I shall photograph it and post it on the blog.” For in its listing of oversized items that could be claimed elsewhere, they’d duct-taped over the first item. And I continued to think, but this […]
Saturday Night Burger Buddy
“Excuse me, now, I don’t mean this to be something weird….” Oh boy, here it comes, something weird. He wants money. He must want money. 3:30 a.m. on the PATH train. It had been a long Saturday night, what with the college-radio friend’s art opening and the record-store friend’s friend’s band’s gig and the art […]
I Went to a Christening
It was a lovely ceremony—except for all the screaming babies. I’d been invited to a christening, and, as a godless Jew, had very little idea what to expect. I anticipated only my friends’ child taking the Nestea plunge, but no, there were seven local infants making an especially holy racket. And what was a christening, […]
So Long, Skyway: A Christmas Memory
I was recently listening to my favorite radio show, The Glen Jones Radio Programme Featuring X.Ray Burns, when X.Ray shared some sad news: The Skyway Diner had gone out of business. My thoughts immediately went back 5 years, to December 26, 2003. I was returning from a holiday visit to some great friends in central […]
The Loneliness of a Middle Distance Runner
Last Saturday in these pages, Frank suggested that I run a 5K, ostensibly to meet women. Never one to back down from a challenge, I completed the Paramus Run 10K on the very next day.OK, OK, it wasn’t that spur-of-the-moment: I’d run the same race in 2004, ’06, and ’07 (missing ’05 due to an […]
Airport Security II (Jack, 0)
People keep coming up to me on the street, imploring, “Certainly something humorous must’ve happened at security for your return flight, right?” Why yes, in fact, something amusing did occur…. The setting: John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California. This is a smaller airport than Newark Liberty International Jingle-Heimer-Schmitt. The security checkpoint does not feature […]
Airport Security Blows
I only fly a few times a year. So a recent visit to Newark Airport was my first encounter with the Smiths Detection Sentinel II. In Googling the machine later, I learned that it is able to analyze microscopic particles off of people for traces of explosives or narcotics. At the time, though, all I […]
Exclusively for Baseball Fans of a Certain Age
Every day I ride the PATH train. Recently, we’ve been encouraged to begin using the new SmartLink card, which you simply tap at the turnstile to go through. Hey, I’m an early adopter, so I got the card. And now they’re encouraging us to register our cards online. This allows you to automatically refill your […]
Oh, Those Connor Girls!
I’ll admit it: For the past five years, I have been obsessed with social networking. First it was Friendster, and then MySpace, and now Facebook. And somewhere along the way, through overseas friends, I’ve signed up for hi5 and Bebo. Some of these sites have been infiltrated with fictional women, perhaps connected to porn websites […]
Jack Silbert, curator