In this week’s installment of my AOL Jobs column: How to deal with line-cutters at the work cafeteria. Plus, is it OK to nap in your car? Or is it just another indicator of the end of civilization?
Separated at Birth XXXIV
The cover of Haerts’ self-titled debut album and the cover of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ 1989 album Mother’s Milk
My Internet Radio Playlist, 12/9/14
EPISODE #158: JUSTICE
for Michael Brown and Eric Garner
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
The Clash — “Know Your Rights”
The Karl Hendricks Trio — “The Policeman’s Not Your Friend”
KRS-One — “Sound of da Police”
The Equals — “Police on my Back”
Ian Rubbish and the Bizarros — “Hey Policeman!”
Devo — “Don’t Shoot (I’m a Man)”
The Hold Steady — “Barely Breathing”
Real Estate — “Crime”
The Replacements — “Ain’t No Crime”
Atoms for Peace — “Judge, Jury, and Executioner”
Roky Erickson w/ Okkervil River — “Please Judge”
The Bobby Fuller Four — “I Fought the Law”
The Scene Is Now — “If Justice Hides”
Bruce Springsteen — “American Skin (41 Shots)”
broadcast live from Hoboken, NJ, on “Jack’s Aquarium”
Tuesday, 12/9/14, 10:00–11:05 a.m. eastern time
Predicting John Sterling’s Home-Run Call for Didi Gregorius
Last week, the Yankees completed a three-team trade that landed them Didi Gregorius, a 25-year-old shortstop from the Arizona Diamondbacks. Though not yet an outstanding offensive player, he shows a very strong glove and arm, and seems to have a lot of potential. Fans wonder if he will be an effective replacement for Derek Jeter in the years to come. But fans also wonder: What will John Sterling’s home-run call be for Didi Gregorius?
Once again, Salt in Wound humbly offers some suggestions for the Yankees’ veteran play-by-play radio announcer.
— “Didi shoots a BB, deep into the right-field seats!”
— “Gregorius is glorious!”
— “An H.R. for Didi!”
— “Didi’s gregarious with the fans in right!”
— “Gre-GONE-ius!”
— “Didi-d-didi-d-didi-d-didi is Morse code for OUTTA HERE!”
— “Didi was born in the Never-lands!”
— “Dutch ’em all!”
— “Amster-damn he really got a hold of that one!”
— “Curaçao long!!”
— “Nothing sketchy about it!”
— “It’s D-Day for Didi, as he invades the bleachers of Normandidi!”
— “Mariekson Julius Gregorius, you come home this instant—after circling the bases, that is!”
— “Tried to warn ya, about 3-and-oh and Didi G!”
— “Did Didi? He did!”
— “Diddy smacked Drake; Didi smacked BALL!”
— “Yes in-Didi!”
Previously featured:
• Carlos Beltran
• Jacoby Ellsbury
• Brian McCann
• Kevin Youkilis
Ask Jack: Holiday Time at the Office + Job of the Week
In this week’s installment of my AOL Jobs advice column: The holiday season can add even more stress to the work environment!
Movie Review: Dumb and Dumber To
1.5 stars out of 5
It’s weird to think how much has changed since I saw the original Dumb and Dumber for the first time, which was about two weeks ago on Comedy Central. You see, back in 1994, I avoided Jim Carrey movies. I’d enjoyed him in the short-lived 1985 TV series The Duck Factory, but on In Living Color I found his style of comedy to be a bit too broad, too easy, too “look at me!” So I skipped the big trifecta of Ace Ventura, and The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber, which all seemed like more of the same.
When D&D creators the Farrelly Brothers returned sans Carrey with Kingpin in 1996, I gave it a shot and enjoyed the hell out of it. Same with There’s Something About Mary in 1998. Then everything by them kind of sucked until The Three Stooges a couple of years ago, which I actually liked very much.
Then I saw that a Dumb and Dumber sequel was arriving, with the Farrellys on board, and I thought, hmm, maybe I should finally see that first one. And… it was funny. I laughed several times. Sure, Jim Carrey was being Jim Carrey, but it was tempered with a sweetness. At their best, the Farrelly boys do have a soft side.
Dumb and Dumber To is not the Farrelly Brothers at their best. Far from it. To be blunt, this movie pretty much blows.
Oh, details, you want? First and foremost, the writing is horrendous. There are six screenwriters credited: the two Farrellys, Bennett Yellin (who co-wrote the first film with them and hasn’t done much since), and three other idiots. That group-write is a bad sign; I’d guess they just kept asking people to come up with “bits.” But instead of being clever, the jokes too often rely on sexism, racism, ageism, and scatology. I certainly don’t mind crude humor, but it has to be—you know, funny—and this isn’t.
Jim Carrey doesn’t help things at all. Where in the original, Lloyd Christmas is dumb but also innocent and well-meaning, here he’s cruel and brash and stupid. (Maybe more like the real Jim Carrey?) And there are no remaining traces of his physical-comedy brilliance. Sure, he says “I like it a lot” and he sprays the breath spray the wrong way, but you feel like he’s just going through the motions.
Jeff Daniels does a far better job. He slides into his old character Harry Dunne with much greater ease. We still like sweet, dumber Harry.
Kathleen Turner shows up and they just make fun of her looks. Real classy, guys.
Rob Riggle wriggles out a few laughs but it’s not enough.
Kudos on getting little blind Billy and Boston Bruins great Cam Neely to reprise their roles. But I guess Lauren Holly isn’t returning Jim’s calls.
And where you’d think maybe the film would at least look much better than the original, with the Farrellys two decades of experience and also the zillions of dollars they’ve earned, it actually looks cheaper, done on crummy sound stages.
But, maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, I’m not the same bright-eyed kid I was two weeks ago.
Movie Review: Foxcatcher
4 stars out of 5
On March 24, 2006, I was face-to-face with director Bennett Miller and was pretty pissed at the guy—but I’ll save that anecdote for another time. For now I’ll say that, personal feelings aside, I’m a big fan of his work. All four of his features range from very good to excellent: the documentary The Cruise, Capote, Moneyball, and now, Foxcatcher.
Clearly, Miller is enamored with nonfiction, and the John du Pont story was ripe to be retold. I had vague recollections of the sordid 1996 news story involving du Pont and Olympic wrestlers, but I think that forgetting most of the details made this an even more satisfying film experience for me.
In addition to a fascinating real-life tale, Foxcatcher also has two other genuine strengths: a gutsy but very compelling choice of pacing, and some absolutely tremendous performances.
You’ve perhaps heard about Steve Carell’s physical and temperamental transformation into John du Pont, and you can certainly believe the hype. Carell is a marvel in this, giving us a du Pont who is weird, creepy, lonely, sad, awkward, damaged, oblivious, predatory. An Oscar for Steve Carell? Perhaps.
Channing Tatum, as Olympic gold-medalist wrestler Mark Schultz, is the opposite of Carell’s du Pont in many ways: vibrant, visceral, physical, sexual. But they share a sadness, a loneliness, a lingering sense of hurt.
Mark Ruffalo—always so good!—is Mark’s also-gold-winning older brother David, and he is everything John and Mark are not: He is “normal” (wife, kids, backyard). He is nurturing. John and Mark both long for these ideals, but also resent them.
Miller’s filmmaking style perfectly matches the story. Many scenes are long and incredibly quiet. Often there’s one character alone in a large room. Loneliness, a constant threat. Hello darkness, my old friend.
And Foxcatcher grapples (sorry) with so much: The never-ending appeal of glory. (There are even some classic sports-film tropes here, with the “big match” approaching.) The entitlement and aloofness of wealth. The ease of manipulating the vulnerable. Family’s ability to support and comfort us, and its equal power to trap and belittle us. Our ongoing desire to just “fit in”—and the pain of those always on the outside. And even when we are accepted, our ongoing need to prove ourselves as individuals.
It all adds up to one of the best movies I’ve seen so far this year. Not that I’m necessarily rooting for Bennett Miller….
Ask Jack: Weight Harassment, Lost ID Card, and Job of the Week
In this week’s installment of my AOL Jobs advice column: Have you ever gotten grief about your body in the workplace? Plus, the curious tale of a lost ID card.
Jack Silbert, curator