New Year’s resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions 2016
1. Get one step closer to the Almighty. 2. Get one degree closer to Kevin Bacon. 3. Remove plastic before eating processed cheese slices. 4K resolution. 5. Cut down on my cocaine use when I go to whorehouses with Lamar Odom. 6. Convince Europeans that 9/11 didn’t happen in November. 7. Demand that networks stop […]
New Year’s Resolutions 2015
1. Since I do have an entire year, maybe don’t wait until 11 minutes before posting this to write hilarious list of new year’s resolutions. 2. Try to figure out why touring companies of Broadway shows never, ever seem to schedule performances in New York City. Totally unfair! 3. You will never believe the SHOCKING […]
New Year’s Resolutions 2014
1. Stop thinking about tomorrow. 2. Take more selfies of other people. 3. Live every day like I’ll be dead in three days. 5. It’s so important to be a good listener. Really, really focus on listening to the rockin’ tunes in my new earbuds to drown out the mindless jibber-jabber of all you yutzes. […]
New Year’s Resolutions 2012
1. Lose 10 pounds. 2. Gain 15 pounds. 3. Start smoking. 4. Move part in hair half-centimeter to the left. 5. Finally learn how to play piano and when instructor tells me that I’m actually getting very good, never ever play again. 6. Meet girl, lose girl, think about winning girl back, but really listen […]
Jack Silbert, curator