Timeshare Math Problem

In a hypothetical timeshare presentation which she in fact studiously avoided, Bernie is offered an amazing opportunity: to purchase a timeshare in the resort in which she is currently staying. For about forty grand, she can have it all, a week in the sun in paradise, or, she can go elsewhere and trade in her week. She gets this week of paradise every year for 45 years, and she can even rent or sell this week, therefore it has value. There is the small issue of maintenence fees, to the tune of about $800 a week for a well-appointed one bedroom apartment. Luxuries abound at this resort…
(airfare not included)

Scenario number two: Bernie goes on Orbitz and gets the same empty timeshare room at same timeshare resort and airfare for a ridiculously low price.

If anyone wants to take the challenge and explain how timeshares can save you money, I’d love to hear it.

The saddest part about this is they’re going up everywhere in this area, mangrove lagoons are being drained and paved for the resorts. The birds have less and less habitat to winter in. These men and women fellow guests (and timeshare presentation victims) with their giant sunburned bellies (John likes to call them all ‘pregnant men’) only want alcohol, a pool, trinkets, and cheap food. I can provide that for them in Illinois, under a giant dome, which they might learn to like. Maybe in this way we can save the birds.

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