In this week’s installment of my AOL Jobs advice column: Should you be compensated for a short-term promotion? And what to do when the cool kids at work don’t ask you to order lunch with them.
My Internet Radio Playlist, 4/14/15
EPISODE #176: MONEY II
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
The Beatles — “Taxman”
The Undertones — “Fairly in the Money Now”
Fishboy — “Hard-Earned Money”
Joe Mooney Quartet — “A Man With a Million Dollars”
Dire Straits — “Money for Nothing”
Iron & Wine — “Boy With a Coin”
Mercury Rev — “I Collect Coins”
Tom Waits — “Pay Me”
Bruce Springsteen — “Pay Me My Money Down”
The Drums — “Money”
Clyde McPhatter & the Drifters — “Money Honey”
The Everly Brothers — “Man With Money”
Nick Lowe — “Music for Money”
They Might Be Giants — “Money for Dope”
Randy Newman — “It’s Money That I Love”
The Jim Jones Revue — “Where da Money Go?”
Elmore James — “Shake Your Moneymaker”
broadcast live from Hoboken, NJ, on “Jack’s Aquarium”
Tuesday, 4/14/15, 10:00-11:10 a.m. eastern time
The Wit and Wisdom of Lee Israel, Vol. 3 (2009)
With baseball season underway, it seems like a good time to return to the collected e-mails of Lee Israel, as this batch heavily features her interest in our national pastime. Lee routinely watched Yankees games on TV even if, as you’ll see, she wasn’t particularly root-root-rooting for the home team.
The previous year, with the publication of her memoir and subsequent articles, reviews, and interviews, Lee had been living the high life. By 2009, though, things had calmed down somewhat. As for a movie version of the book, we didn’t really begin discussing that possibility in earnest until 2010. (Stay tuned.) Last week, I was extremely excited to see news that not only is the movie happening, with Enough Said’s Nicole Holofcener tapped to direct, but that Julianne Moore (!) will be playing Lee. Not exactly a dead ringer, but hey, that’s Hollywood. Lee would be so incredibly pleased and amused by all this, and I’m so sad that she isn’t around to experience it.
But now let’s return to April of 2009, as the Yankees were playing an exhibition game against the Chicago Cubs, the very first game to be played in the new Yankee Stadium. Lee Israel was not impressed….
4/3/09
Yankee Go Homo!
Hello Jack with the scant attention I am planning to spend on the new baseball season, I intend to root fervidly against the Yankees, because they are greedy oligarchs, playing in a stadium built with taxpayers’ money, designed for capitalist pigs, to which fathers can bring their sons only if the father happens to be a corporate giant….
How are you otherwise? Are you still wasting your talents at Scholastic? I am writing a humor piece for The New Yorker.
Obama brought a collection of songs from Broadway musicals to Elizabeth, who used to be taller. . I think he has his queens confused.
Jap Matsui just hit a home run. Shit!
lee
4/4/09
Happy birthday. Don’t you love it when schmucks say, Age is just a number … My new response is,, Yes, and death is just a word.
I am working on a humor piece because an editor there … the same guy who wanted to publish my book as a magazine piece .. I am working on a piece because he asked me to. It ain’t done yet. Neither is it accepted.yet.
Selling my forgeries on EBay, as forgeries, but I have only sold two so far. I accompany the items with a Certificate of Inauthenticity.
Actually, the New Yorker humor pieces are very good as a rule.
as ever lee
6/10/09
[On June 1, Lee’s old friend/foe/neighbor/boss Renee Glaser passed away; my then-employer—Lee’s former employer—scheduled a memorial. Lee hadn’t left the company on the best of terms.]
Hello Jack I plan to be at the memorial service tomorrow — 4 o’clock in the Greenhouse. I expect security will ask me for a name and I will offer yours. I’ll see you then best lee
8/6/09
[in response to a New York Times article I’d sent Lee, in which a handwriting expert determined that a signature by socialite Brooke Astor was a forgery (no, not one of Lee’s):]
Hi Jack This signature so-called science ..(“chirography”, something like that )– is such utter bullshit. I know my signature changes all the time, primarily dependent on my comfort and what I’m leaning on. (And whether I am Noel, Dorothy, Edna, or Louise) I signed a coupla books of mine leaving out a letter …drunk and in a hurry. The experts all make me laugh…. Hope you’re well. Always great o hear from you. lee-
P.S. The factoid I love most about the nonsense that was going on during Mrs. Astor’s last years .. they were getting her customary flowers from the neighborhhod bodegas, and I suppose she didn’t know the difference.-… I hope the Yankees lose !!!!!
8/15/09, 4:33 pm
Hi Jack I just read the Mamet trifle. Very funny. I would put a question mark after the last line, if I were doing it. I like your personal essays and I will read your new one on the morrow. OK?
About the Yankees. Yes, I ,know mine wasn’t exactly a kibosh. . You know I am not the baseball fan I was at idiotic eleven, and crazy for the Dodgers in Brooklyn, to which we moved from Jew-hating Woodside. I don’t root for the Yankees because of their greed .. especially in turning the new stadium into millionaires row. But they are an extraordinary team, and I enjoy watching them play.And I adore Mariano, the legend.
I’m a little down today, so I Googled “Lee Israel” “hilarious,” and now am feeling much better.
I just finished a piece about earworm for The New Yorker. I love it. I hope they do, too.
Goddammit it. You can never find a fly swatter when you need one
Les Paul will have to learn yet another way to play the guitar.
[The guitar legend had died three days earlier.]
Do you miss Renee? I would were I still there.
As ever, Lee.
4:36 pm
P.S.
And it’s always great to hear from you.
8/19/09
Hi Jack You do look like that guy [Patton Oswalt]. But he’s younger and much fatter.
I finally read your piece. Liked it. Reminds me of the stuff written by a famous New Yorker writer — first name Joe. there’s a movie about him — he chronicled the lives of New York characters. I learned about him the hard way, when one reviewer said I was like one of those New York characters. He’s played by the guy who portrays Julia’s husband in Julie and Julia, which I did not like. I hate Nora Ephron. She tried to have me arrested.
Because you said so, I am going to try to watch Find Me Guilty. You doubtless know that Reflux offers hundreds of movies free, to be played on one’s computer or TV. It’s the best.
Always enjoy hearing from you. as ever, lee
P.S. I let spell-check’s revision stand: changing “Netflix” to “Reflux,” which I like better.
10/18/09
[after the Yankees beat the Angels, 4–3 in 13 innings, in game 2 of the 2009 American League Championship Series:]
Damn Yankees
NUTS!
10/22/09
[after the Yankees scored 6 runs in the 7th inning of ALCS game 5 to take the lead:]
DAMN THEIR EYES
THOSE FUCKING YANKEES!
10/28/09
[Lee’s World Series prediction:]
the week ahead
Philadelphia in 4. After which Jeeter gets picked up for child molestation.
11/4/09
[just before World Series game 6; much was made of the fact that the Yankees’ Andy Pettitte was pitching on only three days’ rest, instead of the customary four:]
wow!
I went shopping this morning. And I did it on just three days’ rest.
• Volume 1: 2005–6
• Volume 2: 2007–8
Movie Review: The Wrecking Crew!
4 stars out of 5
I saw this documentary on my birthday, but I slacked off for more than two weeks before reviewing it. Still, that’s totally in the spirit of the film: It was 18 years in the works, and even on IMDB it’s listed as a 2008 movie. But with the help of a $313,157 Kickstarter campaign, The Wrecking Crew! was finally completed and given a theatrical release. (For you shut-ins out there, it is also available on-demand and via iTunes.)
If you’re a music geek, you likely know a decent amount about the Wrecking Crew: the much in-demand, L.A.-based studio musicians who anonymously backed everyone from the Beach Boys to Frank Sinatra in the 1960s. Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound? The Wrecking Crew. The Monkees weren’t the Monkees; they were the Wrecking Crew.
If you’re a fan of “oldies” but not a total nerd about it, this movie will be a revelation.
Over the years, we’d hear about Hal Blaine, the Wrecking Crew drummer, and Carol Kaye, the bass player. But the rest of the musicians tended to lurk in the shadows. This documentary sets out to right past wrongs and it succeeds.
You can’t help but notice that the film was pieced together over a long stretch of time. Interviewees age over the course of 101 minutes. Dick Clark is looking well and his diction is superb. Glen Campbell is not feeling too bad himself. So there’s a little bit of a sloppy feel to the proceedings, as different segments of different film quality are glued together. But ultimately, this patchwork approach becomes kind of charming.
Of course, a huge strength of the movie is the soundtrack — hands down, some of the greatest songs ever recorded. (In the credits, there’s a list of Wrecking Crew songs that weren’t used in the film, and just those would’ve been a world-class greatest hits playlist.) And director Denny Tedesco was able to interview many key players, including Brian Wilson, Herb Alpert, Cher, Mickey Dolenz, Jimmy Webb, and Nancy Sinatra.
But the secret weapon, turning this into a very good film: Rather than just being a 1960s/70s music documentary, it’s equally a tribute to the director’s dad, Tommy Tedesco. He was a guitarist with the Wrecking Crew, who passed away not long after initial filming began. So Denny gets to retrace his dad’s life via some great archival footage, and interviews with Tommy’s wife and his old bandmates. What we end up with is a really sweet father-and-son tale. Don’t wait 18 years to see it.
Some Email Phishing Scams Are Convincing
While others…
Hey Idiots, Stop Using Incorrect Quotes From the Internet
There’s been some hullabaloo this week, because the U.S. Postal Service issued a Maya Angelou stamp with a big quote that ISN’T HERS. There was Oprah, and the First Lady, and everybody’s on stage in front of this giant blow-up of this big stupid mistake and it’s hugely embarrassing. And the Postal Service found out about the error but, you know, they went ahead with it anyway because, why? They already printed the poster? They already shipped out the stamps to the post offices? If you had to ship them out again I think the postage would be free because YOU’RE THE POST OFFICE!!!
The thing is, this is just a very high-profile example of something that happens EVERY GODDAMN DAY, totally unchecked: People are using incorrect quotes from the Internet, because the Internet is a stupid, stupid, stupid place.
GOOD INTERNET, BAD INTERNET
Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s also a wonderful, enriching resource. The Internet as we know it has existed for a big chunk of my life and it has made the retrieval of information a significantly easier task. When I was a schoolboy we had to walk 10 miles to the library and look in encyclopedias and Facts on File and use microfilm and microfiche in these big machines that rattled and hummed and we photocopied pages from books that weren’t in circulation. At the time it all didn’t really seem like a pain, but now it’s SO MUCH EASIER because you can get most of the information while sitting at home not wearing pants.
But, people need to remember that there is more than one Internet, and I am not referring to the Deep Web. There’s the “official” stuff: Your dot-govs, sites affiliated with accredited universities, well-established media sources, a corporation’s own website when you need information from that corporation, etc., … and then there’s EVERYTHING ELSE.
Now, maybe you’re saying, “But Jack, the Postal Service is kind of part of the government, right? And what about Rolling Stone retracting that story, and newspapers and networks are always making corrections….”
Yes, yes, that’s a whole other megillah, totally important, and I think it has something to do with understaffed staffs and underpaid low-level employees who simply aren’t doing due diligence. That’s an enormous problem and it’s getting worse all the time because the world craves content but seemingly doesn’t value it anymore. Maybe the pendulum will swing back, or perhaps the pendulum has been scrapped and sold for parts.
QUOTE UNQUOTE
For right now, let’s just focus on the quotes. This isn’t brand-new; misquoting—and pointing out misquotes—are longstanding, beloved traditions. (“Did you know Dorothy doesn’t actually say ‘I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore’?” etc. etc.)
But the Internet has made the first part—the misquoting—so much easier, so much more widespread, that the second part, the pointing-out—unlike TV’s Parker Lewis—has no chance of winning.
There are these crappy websites, I’ll single out brainyquote.com but it feels like there are millions of them, that are repositories for countless quotations but don’t do any fact-checking whatsoever. And when someone wants an “inspirational” quote — or something that “really makes you think” — to share on their Facebook feed, or on a STAMP THEY’RE DESIGNING, they Google the person’s name and the word “quotes.” These sites pop up, and people trust that the quotes are true, because… it’s on the Internet. But ANYBODY can start a website. Hell, I did!
So the quote gets shared before any additional research is done, and as a result, the world gets just a little dumber. If the person cuts-and-pastes the quote under a photo of the individual, it sometimes becomes a meme, and spreads stupidity even further, as it gets shared, and re-shared, and they told two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on….
This has been happening since the early days of the interweb (“I’m going to forward you this e-mail of Steven Wright jokes, they’re hilarious!”), but social media has made it so very much worse.
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT VIRAL MISQUOTES
So what can we do? Well, when you want to use a quote, spend just a little extra time to make sure it’s legit. Can you find it in a primary source? (You remember those, from when they taught us about research in school.) A book where the person actually wrote the words, or a video or transcript in which the words were actually spoken. If you can’t find a primary source, a trusted secondary source is usually OK. But not always: Remember our earlier discussion of the “official” media making more and more mistakes. Or when an error gets printed in a hastily-written biography or nonfiction book, it gets repeated ad infinitum online. So be especially careful.
And when you see a quote online that looks a little hinky, look it up and point it out. Yeah, I’m that jerk who’s always been sharing snopes.com debunking links; I even got my dear old mom to do it. Try not to make the other person feel stupid, or make yourself look like a know-it-all. We’re all making these errors; ain’t none of us innocent. (When pointing out mistakes, I often use the construction “I got tricked by this before, but it turns out…”) So let’s all try to help each other, and stamp out incorrect quotations. And you can quote me on that.
Ask Jack: Baseball’s Mark DeRosa on Career Change
Kind of a change of pace for this week’s installment of my AOL Jobs column: Baseball veteran Mark DeRosa discusses his new career as a co-host of MLB Network’s new morning show, MLB Central. Born in Passaic and a graduate of Bergen Catholic, another Jersey boy makes good! And here at Salt in Wound HQ, we are very, very pleased that baseball is back.
My Internet Radio Playlist, 4/7/15
EPISODE #175: BREAD (PASSOVER 2015)
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Joy Division — “Passover”
Jonny — “Bread”
The Felice Brothers — “Take This Bread”
King Khan & his Shrines — “Welfare Bread”
Ceramic Dog — “Bread and Roses”
Bitch Magnet — “White Piece of Bread”
Slint — “Breadcrumb Trail”
Louis Jordan — “Beans and Corn Bread”
Pink Floyd — “Candy and a Currant Bun”
The Inconceivables — “Hamburger Patti”
Isto — “A Tuna Salad Sandwich”
The Raybeats — “Jelly Bread”
The Pooh Sticks — “Jelly on a Plate”
broadcast live from Hoboken, NJ, on “Jack’s Aquarium”
Tuesday, 4/7/15, 10:00-11:05 a.m. eastern time
Touring the Stevens Family Legacy
On Saturday, I took a three-hour bus tour of historic sites in Hoboken connected to the Stevens family. For hMAG.com, I wrote about what I saw and took some photos.
Rejected Lipstick Colors
• “Still Infected”
• “Moonlight in Saginaw”
• “ISIS Ice”
• “Forbidden Biden”
• “Under-Table Bubblegum”
• “Room-Temperature Pink”
• “Excessive Chapstick”
• “Redd Foxx Foxy Red”
• “Very Berry Botox”
• “Manischewitz Chartreuse”
Jack Silbert, curator