satire
Predicting John Sterling’s Home-Run Call for Brian McCann
Last weekend, the Yankees signed Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann to a five-year deal worth $85 million. The acquisition is expected to add some sorely needed offense behind the plate. But will McCann’s production rebound to his early-career numbers? If so, will it even be enough to revitalize New York’s lackluster lineup? And most importantly: […]
I’m Not Clicking Anymore
I was on Yahoo, and I clicked it: “Just Try and Tell Us Kylie Jenner and Jaden Smith Aren’t Dating After You See These Photos.” Why the hell did I click? I don’t know who Kylie Jenner is. I’m guessing she’s related to Bruce Jenner, who was on a Wheaties box when I was 7 […]
Highest Paid DJs/Lowest Paid DJs
According to Forbes magazine: the world’s highest-paid DJs in 2013… …and the lowest-paid:
I Add Some Words to a Snippet From the New York Times
Kerry Cheeseboro, a manager at Dorrian’s Red Hand, a Yankees-leaning bar on the Upper East Side most known as the place preppy murderer Robert Chambers and his ex-girlfriend Jennifer Levin were hanging out just before he killed her, said it would be difficult for many fans to come to terms with Mr. de Blasio’s feelings. […]
Reasons to Still Visit Hoboken, Now That Maxwell’s Is Closing
A new friend recently told me that, with the upcoming closing of the legendary indie-rock club Maxwell’s, she couldn’t think of any other “destinations” warranting a trip to Hoboken. Poppycock, I say! Though the city is merely a square mile in size, it still has so very much to offer. Here is just a small […]
If I Win the $600 Million Powerball Jackpot
Back in late November, for the $550 million Powerball jackpot, I was still reeling from Sandy recovery when I made up my winnings wish list. Now, with tonight’s $600 million jackpot, I have a much clearer head. So this time, if I win, I will… • Go see fancy 3-D version of new Star Trek […]
NRA and NBA: Similarities and Differences
This weekend, the National Rifle Association held its annual convention in Houston, Texas. Meanwhile, the National Basketball Association playoffs are in full swing. With their similar acronyms, it can be easy to confuse the two organizations. I’ve prepared this easy-to-digest chart to help you distinguish them. SIMILARITIES • In favor of shooting • In favor […]
Other Bad Things That Mike Rice Did
Rutgers University fired men’s basketball coach Mike Rice today, after videotape revealed that Rice is a complete and total prick—an abusive, homophobic bully. Later today, additional video was released, uncovering even more offenses by the disgraced former coach. Several of these are listed below. Count on Salt in Wound to keep you up to the […]
Jack Silbert, curator