satire
It Was 50 Years Ago Today
The Beatles landed in America, at Plymouth Rock. No one had the heart to tell them they spelled “Beetles” wrong. People were surprised how short their hair was. John Lemon caused a hubbub by saying he was taller than Jesus. Fans soon picked their favorite Beatle: Paul was “The One Named Paul,” John was “The […]
Idea for an App
A public service/dating sort of thing. When someone nearby (note to self: add GPS capability) snidely says “Eat a sandwich” behind the back of a very thin woman, I could then show up and go get a sandwich with that woman.
Hey CNN and Wired Magazine….
…shut the F up and see why Jack Silbert calls your free public library the “Netflix for books.”
New Year’s Resolutions 2014
1. Stop thinking about tomorrow. 2. Take more selfies of other people. 3. Live every day like I’ll be dead in three days. 5. It’s so important to be a good listener. Really, really focus on listening to the rockin’ tunes in my new earbuds to drown out the mindless jibber-jabber of all you yutzes. […]
Predicting John Sterling’s Home-Run Call for Carlos Beltran
It was a rough day for our man Sterling. He lost two (three?) of his classic calls: “Robbie Cano! Don’t ya know?” and the Grandyman (a.k.a. “Something sort of Grandish!”). But have faith in the Yankees, my son. New York quickly signed aging free-agent slugger Carlos Beltran to a 3-year, $45 million contract. So it’s […]
Predicting John Sterling’s Home-Run Call for Jacoby Ellsbury
Earlier this evening, a baseball source revealed that free-agent outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury had reached an agreement with the New York Yankees on a seven-year deal reportedly worth $153 million. Ellsbury immediately tweeted: Jacoby Ellsbury @JacobyEllsbury Wicked happy 2 shave this *&^#ing beard #bostonstrong Meanwhile, the move raised intriguing new questions for baseball fans. Have the […]
Predicting John Sterling’s Home-Run Call for Brian McCann
Last weekend, the Yankees signed Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann to a five-year deal worth $85 million. The acquisition is expected to add some sorely needed offense behind the plate. But will McCann’s production rebound to his early-career numbers? If so, will it even be enough to revitalize New York’s lackluster lineup? And most importantly: […]
I’m Not Clicking Anymore
I was on Yahoo, and I clicked it: “Just Try and Tell Us Kylie Jenner and Jaden Smith Aren’t Dating After You See These Photos.” Why the hell did I click? I don’t know who Kylie Jenner is. I’m guessing she’s related to Bruce Jenner, who was on a Wheaties box when I was 7 […]
Highest Paid DJs/Lowest Paid DJs
According to Forbes magazine: the world’s highest-paid DJs in 2013… …and the lowest-paid:
I Add Some Words to a Snippet From the New York Times
Kerry Cheeseboro, a manager at Dorrian’s Red Hand, a Yankees-leaning bar on the Upper East Side most known as the place preppy murderer Robert Chambers and his ex-girlfriend Jennifer Levin were hanging out just before he killed her, said it would be difficult for many fans to come to terms with Mr. de Blasio’s feelings. […]
Jack Silbert, curator