2.5 stars out of 5
I texted my buddy to see if he wanted to catch the 7:30 showing of Uncut Gems. He couldn’t, and my visit to the DMV in Jersey City went faster than expected, so I decided to see the 4:30 screening instead, freeing up my evening for a meatball parm sub and Jeopardy! I got to the theater with time to spare, even for the 10–12 minute prep time for pretzel bites.
As I patiently waited for those salty morsels, I glanced at my torn movie ticket, only to notice a time ending with a :15pm. I hurriedly opened the Bow•Tie Cinemas app, which confirmed my error: Uncut Gems began at 4:15 p.m. Here it was already 4:27, meaning previews had likely wrapped up, and my carby nuggets still weren’t ready. Miss the beginning? I hate to miss the beginning. I could practically hear Syd Field pooh-poohing the idea from beyond the grave.
I looked at the app again. Knives Out was starting at 4:30. I could procure my cheese-dipping-ready baked dough, miss a few previews, and still see the whole movie. The trailer hadn’t impressed me — seemed to be trying too hard — but reviews were apparently positive. I asked the guy at the ticket counter if it was OK to switch — I didn’t want to throw off the national box-office totals. “That’s in theater 4,” he said. I started to explain about the pretzel bites and he cut me off: “You’re good, bro.”
Oh yeah, the movie. I initially thought, “I’m really going to like this.” The mansion-plus-murder mood felt just right, with tongue firmly in cheek. When I was a little guy, there was a star-packed comedy, Murder by Death, that I was too young for. But finally, I was getting my whodunnit sendup!
Even the onscreen font was perfect: 1970s mystery paperback. Christopher Plummer ideally cast as the aging detective novelist. I laughed aloud — quite a bit more than the handful of others in this late-afternoon weekday screening — at the introduction of each character: Edi Patterson (Righteous Gemstones, Vice Principals) as the maid, Toni Collette as a hippie-dippy sort reminding me of a woman I saw exaggeratedly dancing at both Outpost in the Burbs and the Hoboken Arts & Music Festival, Don Johnson — how can you not enjoy late-era Don Johnson?, and reliable freak show Michael Shannon.
Not everyone is successful in their roles. Daniel Craig, as a P.I., has a Cajun-detective accent, but refuses to ham it up. Jamie Lee Curtis, as Plummer’s daughter, doesn’t appear to be enjoying herself. Riki Lindholme (Garfunkel in the Garfunkel & Oates comedy duo) gets very little to do, as does (doesn’t?) Jaeden Martell — the main boy in IT — whose alt-right character seems to have been almost entirely left on the cutting room floor. Chris Evans, looking like a young Alec Baldwin, does have a significant part, but doesn’t really show up until deep in the film, making me wonder if he wasn’t available for the early weeks of shooting.
But my main problem: As the plot starts piling up, getting more and more convoluted, the laughs started getting farther and farther apart. Now, maybe that’s what some people want from a whodunnit, but for me it was more of a whogivesashit.
Movie Review: Knives Out
Aquarium Playlist, 1/21/20
EPISODE #366: MONTHS II
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Darren Hayman — “January Sales”
Dar Williams — “February”
Luna — “Ides of March of the Trolls”
The Jesus & Mary Chain — “April Skies”
Arcade Fire — “Month of May”
Game Theory — “Crash Into June”
Cadallaca — “June -n- July”
Robyn Hitchcock — “August in Hammersmith”
Earth Wind & Fire — “September”
Joe Henry — “Tomorrow Is October”
Peter Fonda — “November Night”
Comet Gain — “Wait ’til December”
r.i.p. David Olney:
Emmylou Harris — “Deeper Well”
David Olney — “Ain’t It That Way”
Jack’s Aquarium is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
What I’ve Been Watching: Edition XVIII
I began this draft five weeks ago, which was already three weeks later than I normally post it. But at long last, here is my recap of the new stuff I was checking out in the summer and fall. It was a span of time where I attempted to take back the night, watching only what I truly wanted to watch — not including The Simpsons, which I have some sort of masochistic relationship with. I heard the triumphant tones of Adele Dazeem belting out “Let It Go” as I deleted entire unwatched seasons of Better Things (OK, I watched two before giving up) and The Last O.G. from my DVR, making room for the following….
LOVED
Los Espookys (HBO) So delightfully different from anything else on the air! SNL writer Julio Torres’s surreal humor propels these adventures of friends who start a horror business in an unnamed country — with occasional help from Fred Armisen as a parking attendant in Los Angeles. Odd and hilarious.
LIKED A LOT
The Righteous Gemstones (HBO) Danny McBride has done it again, even if once again he’s playing a very similar over-confident, not-as-smart-as-he-thinks character. (If it ain’t broke….) The target this time is mega churches and their mega money. McBride’s supporting cast is excellent, with special nods to John Goodman as the patriarch and Walton Goggins as Uncle Baby Billy, trying to regain the evangelical glory of his childhood.
KIND OF LIKED, KIND OF DIDN’T
What We Do in the Shadows (FX) The movie, I liked. The show… eh, could be better, especially with the people involved (Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi). And I’m a big Matt Berry fan. It just felt like they were taking the high concept conceit — ancient vampires’ misadventures in the modern world — and stretching it a little too far.
TWO AND DONE
Living With Yourself (Netflix) Another high concept: Paul Rudd accidentally clones himself and, eh. No real laughs.
ONE AND DONE
City on a Hill (Showtime) I had to check out a new offering from Fontana/Levinson, but it didn’t grab me. Set in Boston so of course you also have Affleck and Damon behind the scenes, and by law they had to cast comic Lenny Clarke in a supporting role. I meant to watch a second one; just never did.
Lights Out With David Spade (Comedy Central) I was quickly put off by the overly casual air, including Spade holding a red Solo cup during his monologue, and also his facial hair was creepy. Buh-bye.
DELETED AFTER 10 MINUTES
Russian Doll (Netflix) I’ve seen Groundhog Day before. I’ve seen Groundhog Day before. I’ve seen Groundhog Day before.
Dead to Me (Netflix) Not for me.
DELETED AFTER 5 MINUTES, 48 SECONDS
Sex Education (Netflix) I wanted to believe in this Gillian Anderson offering.
THE SIMPSONS
Addressed in prologue.
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
Silicon Valley (HBO) So sharp, so funny, so tuned-in, year after year, and their friendship was so sweet. Without this show I’ll be… always blue.
Baskets (Netflix) The previous year, the show seemed to stumble without co-creator Louis CK. But it truly found its footing again for the final season. I’ll really miss these indelible characters, especially Christine, Martha, and Dale.
The Deuce (HBO) It was never David Simon’s best work, but James Franco’s dual performance kept me coming back, and they truly nailed the ending.
LOOKING FORWARD TO
Curb this Sunday! New Fargo coming this spring — the trailer looks good! Avenue 5 should be fun. I’m hoping Medical Police is as hilarious as Childrens Hospital. Watched the first two episodes of The Outsider and (no spoilers, Stephen King readers) I’m hooked but I hope there’s not too much supernatural mumbo-jumbo. I screwed up last year by not recording Ken Burns’s Country Music because Cablevision doesn’t have PBS on-demand and then its free run on the website didn’t last long but now they’re replaying it and I won’t blow this second chance! I’ll watch The Plot Against America miniseries even though — eh, it’s another story for another time.
SHOWS I USED TO WATCH AND IN MANY CASES STILL DO
Links to Edition I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, and XVII.
Aquarium Playlist, 1/14/20
EPISODE #365: COOL COOL (COOL II)
Theme suggested by contest winner Felicia Sapienza Spitz.
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Digable Planets — “Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)”
Paul Shaffer & the World’s Most Dangerous Band — “Dress Cool”
The Feelies — “Real Cool Time”
King Missile — “Jesus Was Way Cool”
Killdozer — “The Pig Was Cool”
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds — “We Real Cool”
The Velvet Underground — “Cool It Down”
New Edition — “Cool It Now”
Johnny Cash — “Cool Water”
The Beach Boys — “Cool Cool Water”
Phoenix — “Trying To Be Cool”
The Go-Go’s — “Cool Jerk”
John Prine — “Everything Is Cool”
Jack’s Aquarium is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
My Highly Subjective List of the Best Movies of 2019
10) Midsommar A really f’ed-up, somewhat artsy horror flick that really stuck in my mind, thanks to its gorgeous Swedish setting, the unique “creepy traditional festival” conceit, and an excellent lead performance by Florence Pugh.
9) Blinded by the Light It’s corny, it’s cheesily made — and I loved it. Yes, I’m an admitted Springsteenophile, but this based-on-a-true story of a 16-year-old Pakistani in 1980s working-class England is for anyone who has found inspiration in art — that special secret connection when images, words, sounds, etc. speak directly to you, taking you out of your own world and showing you a different, brighter path, to a land of hope and dreams.
8) The Dead Don’t Die Contrary to popular opinion, this was Adam Driver’s best performance of the year. He and also-terrific Bill Murray are small-town cops in this goofball, fourth-wall-disregarding zombie flick spoof/tribute. Longtime fave Jim Jarmusch gives us laughs and scares and cool cameos and weirdness. You might feel differently about this flick, perhaps even vehemently, but it appealed to my own bizarro subset of sensibilities, and that’s a rare and special thing.
7) Us Even better than Jordan Peele’s previous effort, Get Out. The first half is taut psychological thriller; in the second half, Peele just starts throwing shit around. Scary, yes, but also funny, fun, smart, and satirical. Lupita Nyong’o is awesome as the mom. Perhaps the most entertaining movie of the year.
6) Gloria Bell A bravura lead portrayal by Julianne Moore absolutely carries this grownup film, about a long-divorced woman trying to live her best life, face the challenges and rewards of a “mature” relationship, hang in there as all around her falls to shit, and when all else fails, go out dancing. I genuinely feel it was an Oscar-worthy performance.
5) Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker A joyous, very satisfying conclusion to the 9-installment saga that has meant so much to, ahem, those of us of a certain age. J.J. Abrams does George Lucas proud (despite what Lucas himself might think) with top-notch action, big laughs, and real emotion. With a smile on my face and tears filling my eyes, I said goodbye to some of my oldest friends, and new ones I’ve met along the way.
4) Dark Waters The important, true story of heroic lawyer Robert Bilott (impressively played by Mark Ruffalo), who battled DuPont when their waste materials in rural West Virginia were poisoning cows… and maybe people too. The real case was exhausting and the movie kind of is also — understandably. But when all is said and done, director Todd Haynes delivers the most powerful film I saw all year.
3) The Irishman What a gift to us movie lovers: The greatest living director re-teams with some of the greatest actors of all time, and the result is a tremendously crafted epic tale of power, pride, politics, corruption, family, loyalty, prejudice, and the extreme personal toll of a life of crime. De Niro, Pacino, and Pesci all step up big time for the master, Scorsese.
2) Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool Five stars out of five? I’d never before given 5 stars to a new release. But for what this documentary set out to do — tell the story of Davis’s life, for better and worse, in a clear and entertaining way — it was flawless. I learned so much about this towering figure in jazz, thanks to many primary-source recollections, but didn’t realize how much I’d laugh along the way. A delight. And for any true music fan, a must-see.
1) Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood Quentin Tarantino’s love letter to the golden days of TV and moviemaking — and the changing of the generational guard at the end of the 60s — had me smiling all the way through its 2 hours, 40 minutes. Brad Pitt, Margo Robbie, and especially Leonardo DiCaprio are perfection, and the film is loaded with superbly acted smaller roles. How much did I love this movie? I went to see it three times.
Honorable mentions: Jojo Rabbit, High Life, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, Western Stars, Godzilla: King of Monsters, Marianne & Leonard: Words of Love, Dumbo, Asbury Park: Riot, Redemption, Rock ‘n Roll
Worst movie: A few real disappointments, but I didn’t see anything horrifically bad in 2019!
New releases I saw this year: 34
My best-of lists from: 2018, 2017/16, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009
You can check out all my movie reviews by clicking here.
Movie Review: Parasite
3.5 stars out of 5
I’d been trying to see Parasite for a few weeks, but it seemed like the world was trying to prevent me: illness, bad weather, general exhaustion. Finally on December 31 I made a concerted effort, $7 Tuesday not even in effect on account of the holiday (note: popcorn was still bargain price), and Parasite became my final movie of calendar year 2019.
It was good! Perhaps a little overhyped? Perhaps.
The trailer hadn’t given me a strong sense of what to expect, and I guess that would’ve been difficult anyway, as it’s an odd little film. We’re in Korea, and we meet a family straight out of Married With Children. Low-rent, constantly bickering with each other. The tone is light and comedic — and this part goes on for an hour. I started thinking, if this was a Hollywood film, with such unlikable main characters, we’d find it stupid. But I think sometimes we cut foreign films a bit too much slack.
Without giving a lot away — I believe Parasite begins streaming on January 20 — the family subtly “invades” an upper-class family’s home. And the mood slowly gets a lot darker, though still maintaining a satiric edge.
So, the message here is, well, something about the class struggle? Except normally I’d be rooting for the poor… but did I mention they’re incredibly unlikable? (I pictured Jane Lynch watching this movie, nodding in agreement.) I enjoyed that it was weird, and that it was dark, but I just couldn’t get 100% behind Parasite.
Movie Review: Marriage Story
3 stars out of 5
During this whole relationship-crumbling story, the one thought that kept going throug my head was, “Wait, do I still have a chance with Greta Gerwig?” But I guess, if anything, this flick would’ve been inspired by Noah Baumbach’s marriage and divorce with Jennifer Jason Leigh. Bummer.
So, this is a tricky one. It is a good movie, perhaps a very good one, but, I did not like it. It’s pretty well written — although as hard as he tries, Baumbach will never be as good as Woody Allen at writing light upper-class comedy. And it is skillfully directed. The cast and their performances are first-rate: Adam Driver (I love a scene where he’s cut himself badly but won’t admit it); Scarlett Johansson with a strong end of year, this and Jojo Rabbit; Alan Alda is a delight, as is our old pal Julie Hagerty; Laura Dern and Ray Liotta are likably unlikable. Kudos to Azhy Robertson, one of the more realistic child actors, as the child. And nicely cast in small roles: Robert Smigel, Wallace Shawn, Rich Fulcher, Martha from Baskets, my former costar Tunde Adebimpe, and from the Baumbach repertory company, Dean Wareham.
But, as a true-to-life portrayal of a marriage falling apart, it’s also TWO HOURS OF PEOPLE YELLING AT EACH OTHER. CAPS LOCK INTENTIONAL! And that was driving me bananas. Talky talky talky, yelly yelly yelly. I did think it ended well, with heart, but alas, too little, too late. Work out your issues on your own time, Baumbach!
Movie Review: Star Wars — The Rise of Skywalker
4.5 star wars out of 5
I was 8 when the first Star Wars came out, so for better and worse, this has been my life, with an awful lot of time and mental energy invested. But, not like, nerd level. So if there are some plot and character inconsistencies from film to film, I honestly don’t care or, more likely, don’t even remember. It’s Star Wars, baby.
So when the trailer for this new flick first arrived, and concluded with the sinister laughter of Emperor Palpatine, I wasn’t all “hey wait, Darth Vader threw him down a shaft in Return of the Jedi.” No, it sent frickin’ chills down my spine. Palpatine’s back, bitches — the baddest mama jama in the galaxy!
Which totally fits in this trilogy, that has depended on the past and present melding together. The 8-year-old me and the 400-year-old me. When I was a kid, the battle of good versus evil was everything. Obviously, as I’ve matured, I’ve learned to understand that there are grey areas, life is grey, the worst people aren’t all bad, the best people aren’t all good. It’s pretty complicated. But at the end of the day, I still want to believe in Good v. Bad. And Rise of Skywalker gives it to us in spades. With some grey tossed in for good measure.
Plus we get cool action (fights and chases and even raging seas), many big laughs (C-3PO really steps up his game), and genuine emotion. I had tears in my eyes the last 30–40 minutes of the movie! J.J. Abrams had a lot of ground to cover, but neatly put all the pieces together in a very satisfying way. A joyous farewell to dear friends.
Aquarium Playlist, 12/31/19
EPISODE #363: NEW TO ME IN 2019, PT. 2
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Jacques Le Coque — “Crush”
Ringo Deathstarr — “Big Bopper”
Sooner — “Breathing”
Tallies — “Mother”
Queue — “More”
Tuff Sunshine — “We Seal Every Deal With a Kiss”
UV-TV — “Hide”
Michael Beach — “A Vision of Modern Love”
Lorelei K — “Radiating”
John Cozz — “Braincation”
steve. — “Gansett”
The Elevator Operators — “On the Ground”
The Poor Man’s Opera — “Little Venus Au Go Go”
Brower — “You May Know Me As the Kind of Guy Who”
Poppies — “Pink Hum Punch Out”
The Skullers — “She Denies Herself the Things She Loves”
Mal Blum — “Better Go”
The Woolly Bushmen — “Dense”
Morus Alba — “Salvia Micah”
Televisionaries — “Over and Out”
The Fox Sisters — “Right Hip Pocket”
Honey Cutt — “Weather Girl”
Honey Radar — “Coughing Cop”
Erotica — “Pulp Free”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack Silbert, curator