On September 22, I gave a family-friendly presentation about disability awareness at the Hoboken Public Library. The Hoboken Reporter was kind enough to print a preview article about it. I hope to do more presentations like these, at schools and after-school programs.
Movie Review: A Simple Favor
1 star out of 5
I do not care to be played for a fool.
First, on Sunday, Moviepass told me I could go see this film at my local cinema as part of my pre-paid plan. Except, when I got to the theater on Monday afternoon, the movie had mysteriously vanished from the app. Poof! So instead of being free, the ticket cost me $12.50. I hate you, Moviepass.
Then there’s the matter of the trailer for this movie. It led me to believe the film was a taut thriller “from the dark side of director Paul Feig.” I truly enjoy a good suspense yarn, and I generally like Paul Feig. Despite his penchant for directing garbage comedies in recent years, he did create Freaks & Geeks, and I have fresh love for Feig after his involvement in the delightful Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale. So, I was excited to see this movie.
Except it is also garbage.
Right from the start I was on guard, as French yé-yé pop played over the opening credits. So instead of setting the mood for an intense dramatic story, it seemed they were going more for frothy fun. OK, OK, that could work. I’m flexible.
And Anna Kendrick wouldn’t steer me wrong, would she? She’s wonderful in this, giving a pitch-perfect comedic performance. Kendrick plays Stephanie, a goody-two-shoes supermom whose over-involvement at the nice suburban elementary school is cattily commented on by a Greek chorus. (Andrew Rannells gets the best bits). She meets Emily, a bad-girl, not-at-all-involved-at-school, ultra-stylish mom portrayed by lively Blake Lively. Stephanie falls under the spell of her new friend, trying to keep up with her, and she doesn’t know if she can do it. Oh no, I’ve said too much. I haven’t said enough!
Then Emily… vanishes. Poof! This is where the thriller aspect is supposed to kick in. Stephanie goes all Nancy Drew trying to track down her pal, also getting help from the viewers of her increasingly viral mommy vlog. (We get it, Feig, streaming video has buffering issues.) And, despite not really being the movie I was promised, I was still enjoying it. Like, 3.5 stars.
But the writers insist on piling plot on top of plot on top of plot, and Feig, instead of presenting realistic characters, betrays his own comedy background by giving us cartoonish caricatures. The movie just keeps getting more absurd, worse and worse, as I enjoyed it less and less. Blah. Do yourself a simple favor and just don’t.
Aquarium Playlist, 9/18/18
EPISODE #298: YOM KIPPUR (HUNGER)
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Long Neck — “Hunger (Apology Song)”
The Beach Boys — “Gettin’ Hungry”
Bruce Springsteen — “Hungry Heart”
The Searchers — “Hungry for Love”
Billy Childish — “I Am the Strange Hero of Hunger” [poem]
Duran Duran — “Hungry Like the Wolf”
X — “The Hungry Wolf”
Iron & Wine — “Two Hungry Blackbirds”
Tindersticks — “The Hungry Saw”
Louis Jordan — “Hungry Man”
The Frogs — “I’m Hungry”
Mogul — “I Was Starving Hungry (in Tesco’s)”
Parquet Courts — “Stoned and Starving”
The Raymond Scott Quintet — “Dinner Music for a Pack of Hungry Cannibals”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack’s 2018 Fall TV Preview
It’s mid-September and I really should be back at school. But before I matriculate (hey now!), my beloved Fall TV Preview returns after a four-year hiatus. The rules, for those who are new or need a refresher:
1) I have not seen any of these programs, and for the great majority never will.
2) I am basing my opinions based solely on the capsule descriptions in TV Guide’s Fall Preview 2018 issue, which I bought in physical form for the first time in many years. This adds the exciting risk of a paper cut to the proceedings.
Magnum P.I. (CBS) — My family had a poster of Tom Selleck in our guest room but I never watched the show and I don’t like macadamia nuts and I’ll be skipping this reboot too.
Murphy Brown (CBS) — I’ll tune in at least once, just to see how decrepit everyone looks. Am still trying to live down the lurid rumors which sprang from my selfie with Grant “Miles Silverberg” Shaud.
Legacies (CW) — Something with vampires. Sucks.
Dancing With the Stars: Juniors (ABC) — I can’t wait to see a 10-year-old celebrity has-been hobbled by a torn Achilles.
Charmed (CW) — Wait, they’re rebooting this? So… it’s not still on the air? Instead, will watch vintage slo-mo footage of Alyssa Milano on YouTube.
The Purge (USA) — TV version of the movie series in which one night a year, all crime is legal. But 365 nights a year, I won’t watch this.
Mayans M.C. (FX) — Looked at this too quickly and thought it was another goddamn Wayans brothers show.
The Rookie (ABC) — Maybe a rookie TV viewer would watch this cop show but I’m a wily old veteran. Fun fact: I have no idea who Nathan Fillion is.
Rel (FOX) — Nah.
Happy Together (CBS) — High concept alert: Accountant’s calm suburban life is upended when his pop-star client moves in! If that’s not enough reason not to watch, the accountant is Damon Wayans Jr.
The Neighborhood (CBS) — High concept alert: One of the white guys from New Girl (only saw it at the gym with the sound off so never caught their names) moves to a black neighborhood, and Cedric the Entertainer is apprehensive! So am I! About this show!
FBI (CBS) — POS.
New Amsterdam (CBS) — A hospital drama, but I already put in my time watching Code Black, so, I’m good.
The Good Cop (Netflix) — Tony Danza is a rule-breaking former cop and Josh Groban is his by-the-book officer son. I am actually going to watch this, as it was created by WFMU’s Andy Breckman (who also created Monk and was a Letterman writer), even though he was pretty mean to me when I was a guest on Seven Second Delay.
A Million Little Things (ABC) — Is this based on that bullshit “memoir” that Oprah got snookered by? Wait, you’re telling me there’s actually going to be a movie based on that book? Oh fer Christ’s sake.
All American (CW) — A promising football player from the ‘hood is recruited by a Beverly Hills high school, and Cedric the Entertainer is apprehensive!
The Cool Kids (FOX) — Wacky hijinks at a retirement home. Haven’t we all had enough Vicki Lawrence in our lives by now? I mean really.
The Romanoffs (Amazon) — Anthology series from Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner, in which everyone claims to be a descendant of Russian royalty. I’ll watch even though I sat through some movie Weiner made and it was total garbage.
Single Parents (ABC) — I’ll give it one chance because I’m a fan of SNL’s Taran Killam, but I worry about a show whose target demographic is likely too busy to tune in.
You (Lifetime) — A bookstore manager dude starts stalking a beautiful customer and, oh, how surprising, this is on Lifetime!
Wanderlust (Netflix) — A psychologist suffers a bad bike accident and gets a second chance at life, but instead just lies in bed binge-watching crummy shows on Netflix about psychologists getting a second chance at life.
The Kominsky Method (Netflix) — Michael Douglas in a show by schlockmeister Chuck Lorre. The Silbert Method: Don’t watch.
Homecoming (Amazon) — Julia Roberts plays a fading superstar who accepts a role on a website where people buy socks and toiletries.
Kidding (Showtime) — I dig director Michel Gondry, and I dislike Jim Carrey much less than I used to, so… I won’t watch. JK, I will.
Camping (HBO) — Jennifer Garner and David Tennant, and my cousin Ilene is a producer or something, so I’m sure it will be fantastic and hilarious and everyone should watch.
The Alec Baldwin Show (ABC) — He’s here from downtown, he’s here from Mitch & Murray, and he’s on mission of mercy. Oh, has he got your attention now?
Maniac (Netflix) — A sci-fi thing in which Jonah Hill mysteriously alternates between skinny and fat. Plus: Emma Stone!
The Kids Are Alright (ABC) — It’s the 70s in the L.A. suburbs and this family is raising eight boys. Uh, no thanks, I’ve already seen The Brady Bunch and Eight Is Enough.
The Conners (ABC) — I’ll probably tune in once to, you know, strike a blow for racial equality and all, but I can’t imagine the tired 90s sitcom writing from last season will improve one bit.
I Feel Bad (NBC) — I feel bad that I’m not going to watch it. No I don’t! Smell ya later, Homes!
Manifest (NBC) — A flight takes off in 2013 and lands in 2018, only to learn this show was canceled in 2015.
God Friended Me (CBS) — God shows up on Facebook. His first post: “Thou shalt not watch.”
Previous fall TV previews:
2014
2013
2012
Aquarium Playlist, 9/11/18
EPISODE #297: TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 11
The Who — “Happy Jack” (acoustic) [ALTERNATE THEME]
Bruce Springsteen — “The Rising”
Steve Wynn — “Tuesday”
Grass Widow — “Tuesday”
The Pogues — “Tuesday Morning”
The Moody Blues — “Tuesday Afternoon”
Karl Hendricks Trio — “Nogales by Tuesday”
Palomar — “Hooray for Tuesday”
The Rolling Stones — “Ruby Tuesday”
The Smithereens — “Groovy Tuesday”
The Apartments — “Speechless With Tuesday”
Ryan Adams — “New York, New York”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 9/4/18
EPISODE #296: END OF SUMMER II
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Simone White — “I Didn’t Have Any Summer Romance”
Steve Goldberg & the Arch Enemies — “Summer’s Ending”
Epic45 — “A Year Without a Summer”
The Beach Boys — “Things We Did Last Summer”
Ron Sexsmith — “Summer Blowin’ Town”
Buffalo Tom — “Summer”
The Yawns — “Summers Wasted”
The Proper Ornaments — “Summer’s Gone”
Grandaddy — “Summer… It’s Gone”
Lorna — “The Last Mosquito Fight of Summer”
soundbite from The Wire — “You remember that one day summer past?”
Frank Sinatra — “There Used To Be a Ballpark”
John Prine — “Summer’s End”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: Juliet, Naked
3 stars out of 5
It’s only the third Ethan Hawke movie I’ve ever seen in a theater (and I see an awful lot of movies in the theater), so I definitely wanted to catch this one. Though only Nick Hornby’s earliest books have truly impressed me — Fever Pitch and High Fidelity — this story seemed up my alley: Indie rock guy guy becomes reclusive after an iconic album. (Think Jeff Mangum and In the Aeroplane Over the Sea.) Somewhat obsessed British superfan Duncan devotes his free time to the scant information available on Tucker Crowe (Ethan Hawke). Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Crowe makes contact… with Duncan’s girlfriend Annie.
Fifteen years into her relationship, cracks are widening, and Annie welcomes the distraction of a secret transatlantic correspondence with the less and less mysterious musician. That aspect really rang true — innocent infidelity for a bored lover — as did the world of the obsessive music fan. (I may know one or two.) There is much to enjoy here, and a lot of credit must go to the leads. Chris O’Dowd as Duncan is as goofily likable as ever, and convincing in his inability to focus on Annie. We pull for Rose Byrne as Annie and maybe we have a little crush on her too. (The character runs a small-town historical museum fer crissakes.) And my man Ethan is believable and friendly as the weathered rocker who is perhaps being sparked back to life.
I didn’t like everything. Super Hans makes a brief appearance, and he’s my least favorite thing in Peep Show. There’s too much about Tucker being a bad dad, to the children of his different conquests, and how this contrasts with Annie’s growing regret about not being a parent. (The script twice has Tucker tell her, “I’m not one to give advice” and it didn’t feel intentional that he was repeating himself.) Still, it was feeling like 3.5 stars nearly all the way through, until the ending left me kind of cold. Like what had come before didn’t totally justify how things wound up, and/or maybe too much ground was covered too quickly. (I totally would’ve dropped the “extra content” during the credits.)
Oh, one other thing. I was further drawn to the movie by the promise of new songs by Robyn Hitchcock. However, we were not told that these compositions would be sung by Ethan Hawke. So I’m feeling pretty justified about my 3-star rating; don’t mess with an obsessive music fan.
Movie Review: Mission Impossible–Fallout
3.5 stars out of 5
I’ve seen all the Mission: Impossible movies in the theater, whether or not they’re written and directed by a friend from high school. I also bestowed 3.5 stars on the previous two installments, which is likely as high as I’ll rate this kind of film (due to inherent silliness of the spy-vs-spy genre). All that said, Fallout felt a little stronger than recent impossible missions: more fun, more “epic.”
The gang’s mostly here: Cruise, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg. Alec Baldwin returns as the boss and gets a bit more to do this time, thankfully. (I heart Baldwin.) Ilsa, the complicated love interest from Rogue Nation, is still complicated. Also, baddie Solomon Lane from that flick is still bad. And just to show that Chris McQuarrie doesn’t only bring back characters from his own scripts, Michelle Monaghan is here as Julia, who we first met all the way back in M:I3.
The opening sequence in Berlin is especially good, before we hop to London, Paris, and Kashmir. And the action is solid throughout, whether hand-to-hand, on the road (in a BMW, because every fucking car in this movie is a BMW), or in the air. It’s on the long side for a summer blockbuster — 2.5 hours — but the film never drags. And McQuarrie the director sneaks in a couple of artful touches, and as writer keeps the plot pretty straightforward with a sprinkling of M:I laughs. So if you want a little action fix before summer’s out and fall’s in, Fallout is far out.
Aquarium Playlist, 8/28/18
EPISODE #295: CATS III
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
The A-Bones — “Cat Nip”
Colour Me Wednesday — “Cat Hair”
Franklin Bruno — “Cat-Scratch Fever”
The Smittens — “Cats for Cats”
Elf Power — “The Cat Trapped in the Wall”
Alejandro Escovedo — “Shave the Cat”
Devo — “Pink Pussycat”
Louis Jordan & His Tympani Five — “At the Swing Cat’s Ball”
Protomartyr — “Feral Cats” (live at WFMU’s Monty Hall)
Squeeze — “Cat on the Wall”
Roy Orbison — “Bad Cat” (demo)
The Pogues — “Wild Cats of Kilkenny”
Adam Ant — “Puss ‘n Boots”
Karl Hendricks Trio — “How’s the Cat”
Prince — “Scarlet Pussy”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 8/21/18
EPISODE #294: DOG DAYS OF SUMMER III
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Pulp — “Dogs Are Everywhere”
The Beatles — “Hey Bulldog”
The A-Bones — “Jupiter Bulldog”
Guided by Voices — “Bulldog Skin”
Fugazi — “Bulldog Front”
Elvis Presley — “Hound Dog”
Roy Orbison — “Hound Dog Man”
Devo — “Big Dog”
Bee Bee Sea — “This Dog Is the King of the Losers”
R. Stevie Moore — “Don’t Let Me Go to the Dogs”
Bauhaus — “The Dog’s a Vapour”
King Missile — “That Old Dog”
Jason Lytle — “Ghost of My Old Dog”
Laura Veirs — “Little Lap Dog Lullaby”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack Silbert, curator