the single life
3 Minutes on the 3rd Floor
My friend Carli forwarded a Facebook post to me: Hmmm, I’m single; I’m a guy; I’m almost exactly halfway between 30 and 55. And cool is in the eye of the beholder. Plus I had no plans for Friday night (OK, I guess I lose a few coolness points there), I am fond of women, […]
Emails Found on my Old Computer, Episode #4
Last night, seven and a half years later, I saw the same band at the same club. Could’ve sworn that had been a Valentine’s weekend show, but maybe that’s because the band, Higgins, handed out a CD in a Russell Stover heart box with chocolates inside. The chocolates and box are long gone, as are […]
Emails Found on my Old Computer, Episode #3
10/12/03 i was walking out of benny’s [pizzeria], and saw benny sitting outside. “i was looking for you!” he says. “i want you to call this girl.” he pulls out a receipt with a name and number written on it in black Sharpie. “Nice girl,” he says. I ask, “What’s her story? Is she tall? […]
I Needed to Deliver a Package
After a day marked by anxiety which I couldn’t quite pinpoint as job-related or should-I-or-shouldn’t-I-make-a-mix-CD-for-a-girl-related, I was just happy to be home. Alas, my work was not yet done. I picked up a small package inside the vestibule of my apartment building. It was not for me or, for that matter, for any of the […]
Societal Training
I readily admit that I get a little too hopeful about women in train stations, on trains, and on other modes of transport. Some might label it delusional. Others might deem my actions a tad on the creepy side. But to paraphrase a favorite public-service announcement, “I learned it from watching YOU, America!” As evidence, […]
Emails Found on my Old Computer, Episode #2
11/30/01 2:33 a.m. SUBJECT: holy fucking shit you can pick up women at [local bar] the Far Side? i can pick up women at the PATH station! i went to “Max Fish” on Ludlow to celebrate the birthday of [freelancer] Jill, who botched a story for me and she’s so hot that i don’t care. […]
Idea for a Short Story
A guy is lovesick. He is thinking about this woman all the time and his stomach hurts and he feels all weird inside. Sometimes it’s so acute he feels like he might vomit at any second. Then he drops dead because, you see, the symptoms had nothing to do with the girl or his emotions. […]
The Loneliness of a Middle Distance Runner
Last Saturday in these pages, Frank suggested that I run a 5K, ostensibly to meet women. Never one to back down from a challenge, I completed the Paramus Run 10K on the very next day.OK, OK, it wasn’t that spur-of-the-moment: I’d run the same race in 2004, ’06, and ’07 (missing ’05 due to an […]
Oh, Those Connor Girls!
I’ll admit it: For the past five years, I have been obsessed with social networking. First it was Friendster, and then MySpace, and now Facebook. And somewhere along the way, through overseas friends, I’ve signed up for hi5 and Bebo. Some of these sites have been infiltrated with fictional women, perhaps connected to porn websites […]
One in the Loss Column for Team Silbert
Ah, that exquisite moment. You’ve waited all day for an e-mail you hoped would arrive, and it didn’t arrive. But just to be sure, you check the spam filter. And it’s not there either. And then—oh, this is lovely—just to add insult to injury, several of the collected spam messages bear the subject line:You look […]
Jack Silbert, curator