2011
You are browsing the archive for 2011.
Dance Hall Days
I don’t know how you counted down to 2011, but I was counting 1-2-3, pause, 5-6-7. It was a pre-midnight salsa lesson at a small club on the Upper West Side. Maybe I was a just a little bit smoother on my feet than my friend Mary Ellen might’ve reasonably expected. The truth was, this […]
Emails Found on my Old Computer, Episode #3
10/12/03 i was walking out of benny’s [pizzeria], and saw benny sitting outside. “i was looking for you!” he says. “i want you to call this girl.” he pulls out a receipt with a name and number written on it in black Sharpie. “Nice girl,” he says. I ask, “What’s her story? Is she tall? […]
Expect the unexpected
Today, on a financial form, I was asked to estimate my unexpected expenses for 2011. Acceptable categories included funerals, natural disasters, and legal proceedings.
The Lonely Get Lonelier
It’s Valentine’s Day, so obviously my thoughts turn to the physical-fitness industry and the encroachment of technology on human interactions. Oh yeah, and also about solitude. There was a recent New York Times article about fitness—no, not the one about how lonely rats’ brains don’t work as well after exercise as real sociable rats’ brains […]
Food Fight!
At the vending machine on my floor at work today, I noticed a new variety of the KitKat brand of crisp wafers. KitKat Extra Crispy claims to have “Twice the Crisp!” Now, hold the phone, mister. Them’s fightin’ words. For I seem to recall a certain breakfast cereal with a very similar motto: With both […]
I Want to Replace Regis!
This morning, Regis Philbin announced that he’d be retiring from Live With Regis and Kelly at some point this year. For 28 years, he’s hosted a New York-based morning show, so this is truly the end of an era. I’m particularly saddened by the news. I watched in the very beginning, when Cyndy Garvey (ex-wife […]
Additional Additions
Shockwaves permeated the fabricated world of astrology yesterday, when the existence of Ophiuchus, a heretofore unknown, also-completely-made-up zodiac sign was announced. Panic ensued globally as people tried to cope with the new date ranges of the previously accepted 12 signs. Today, we’ve learned of the domino effect of this horoscope horror, impacting nearly all aspects […]
I Needed to Deliver a Package
After a day marked by anxiety which I couldn’t quite pinpoint as job-related or should-I-or-shouldn’t-I-make-a-mix-CD-for-a-girl-related, I was just happy to be home. Alas, my work was not yet done. I picked up a small package inside the vestibule of my apartment building. It was not for me or, for that matter, for any of the […]
I Needed to Exchange a Belt
If in a court of law I’m asked why I was in that neighborhood at that time on that day, I’ll stick with the belt-exchanging story. There’s truth to it, so it won’t set off the polygraph. But really, I was hoping against hope to get a glimpse of Anna. Now, I know, I know: […]
Jack Silbert, curator