Hoboken’s own Karyn Kuhl Band has a brand-new EP, The Stars Will Bring You Home, released today. It’s pretty freakin’ great. Here’s the review I wrote for hMAG.com.
Movie Review: Popstar — Never Stop Never Stopping
3 stars out of 5
Oh, Andy Samberg, what are we going to do with you? You were so funny on Saturday Night Live, and then in 2007 you made Hot Rod, showing it could be trickier to be funny on the big screen. In 2012, I was impressed with Samberg in the fairly serious Celeste & Jesse Forever. But shortly thereafter, it seemed like he had learned his Hollywood lesson and had retreated to the safety and comfort of television on the mildly amusing Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
But now he’s back, with his Lonely Island buddies, in another bid for cinematic success. Maybe they missed each other? Or maybe the got the bug again after the success of their co-write of the “Everything Is Awesome” song for The Lego Movie. We all enjoyed those many SNL Digital Shorts, with the dick in the box, and being on a boat, and what-not, so maybe a movie could work.
Unfortunately, as we’ve learned from lesser films based on SNL characters, it can be difficult to stretch a sketch out to feature length. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that the central joke of the Lonely Island isn’t exactly in my wheelhouse. They — and society at large — are much more enamored of hip-hop than I am. “Beats” are very, very important to them but not at all to me. So maybe I’m not the target audience for this movie. Even so, in the end isn’t it just white guys rapping in a goofy way, which gets a bit tiresome after a while?
All that aside, too many of the jokes here fall flat. And the Lonely Island resort to a strategy that, while effective in their Digital Shorts, just seems lazy here (and not in good “Lazy Sunday” sort of way). It’s what I’ll a “cameo comedy” — they stack the deck with a million appearances by music and comedy stars. Too long between genuine laughs in the screenplay? No problem, here’s Simon Cowell! Look at him! Isn’t that funny? Yawn. I feel like celebrities being interviewed for phony documentaries needs to be temporarily retired as a comedy trope.
The thing is, there really are some good jokes here, just not quite enough of them. Tim Meadows is pretty solid as the music manager, and there’s an inspired bit that he’d been the fourth member of Tony! Toni! Toné! There’s a recurring, spot-on parody of TMZ. There’s also an amusing sequence with Seal that perhaps you’ve seen in the trailers. I laughed out loud at a minor crack involving Jared Leto’s band. And a few of the songs, including one that aired on SNL, are right up there with the Lonely Island’s stronger work.
The movie is watchable and generally well-paced; the Lonely Island are smart, funny guys (who are a little too amused by/obsessed with dick jokes) so they don’t totally botch the proceedings. Apatow has his name on this too, but sadly that doesn’t have the comedy caché it once did. This is yet another film that will be entertaining enough if you catch it on Netflix or cable or a plane, which is where I saw Hot Rod now that I think about it.
The Wit and Wisdom of Lee Israel, Vol. 6 (Apr. 2012)
Last week we learned that the movie based on Lee’s memoir is, in fact, still very much alive! (Unlike Lee herself.) Nicole Holofcener’s script will still be used, but she is no longer directing — the reins have been turned over to Marielle Heller, whose debut effort, 2015’s Diary of a Teenage Girl, impressed me. But what really surprised me was the announcement of the new lead actress: comedy superstar Melissa McCarthy! Will this push the film in a broader comedic direction? (Though McCarthy did do a nice, subtle, serious performance in St. Vincent with Bill Murray.) We won’t know for a while; shooting is not scheduled to begin till early 2017. One thing’s certain, somewhere Lee is smiling — and likely offering pointed suggestions.
In the meantime, let’s return to my collected correspondence from Lee. This is an action-packed batch, containing one of Lee’s final bits of forgery, her delightful creation Dr. Pinky….
4/2/12
[As we began to plan our next get-together:]
Julius’
April in Julius. dah-dah-dah-dah-da. Is there a musical clef on the keyboard?
4/16/12, 10:43 am
schedule
We’re meeting Thursday, 19.OK? 6.30? ….I’ve just heard a Republican bitch on the radio. Don’t knew where to start, so I won’t Lee
2:07 pm
[after Wednesday was suggested instead, as I was attending a Yankees game on Thursday:]
The only note of my calendar for that day: “NO HOT OR COLD WATER.”
As the Germans would say, “Sie hat kein Leben.”
Wednesday is good. Let me know. Lee
4/17/12, 7:11 pm
Pincus Goldsmith, PhD.
I watched the beginning of the game and looked for you. No luck. Not a great game….So here’s a story. I looked carelessly through a copy of one of those start-up publications. It was in the foyer of my apartment house and so was I. Called [TITLE REDACTED] ..horrible..disgracefully full of errors in spelling and punctuation. Dropped the editors a line, thinking maybe I could get a little work (which I may not so desperately need now because it looks like Kilgallen will be optioned for a movie again.) I said, in effect, the publication is piss poor because of all the errors (I wasn’t so boorish in the beginning.) We went back and forth and they said, finally, not knowing me, and from my name assuming I was a guy–called me a pompous dink, that I was probably fat, 5.2, kinky black hair, huge front teeth. Asked me not to reply, which I did..saying merely they should buy a stylebook and a dictionary. But I was angry. Now I destroyed the exchange I just described, but here is what happened next. Under my anonymous e-mail, the following transpired. [Emails put in chronological order.] Note the times and how hard up they are for ads. I’m only sorry I didn’t make it earlier..:
4/17/12, 2:49 pm
Desire to advertise
We are about to open a store to sell books for the young ones, on West 96th. . We heard about your publication; haven’t seen it. What are your rates for advertising? Pincus (Pinky) Goldsmith, PhD
2:59 pm
Hello Pinky
Thank you for the email. I would love to meet with you to take you through the paper, (and talk about ad rates) in person. Are you available sometime tomorrow? That way I can take you through the first 3 issues so you can get a real feel for the paper. My schedule is fairly open, so please let me know when might work for you and we can hopefully chat soon. Thank you!
James [LAST NAME REDACTED]
Founder
2:59 pm
James…
You sound awfully dedicated. A good sign. We can meet tomorrow, though my plate is fullish; but it must be early, say, 8.30 am. Too early? I am at 100 Riverside Drive –82nd Street NW corner). Ask for me (I’m known to the staff as Dr. Pinky). Penthouse B. Let me know as soon as you can. What with the opening and the new advertising budget my book is filling up. Pinky
3:51 pm
Perfect! I’m up at 5:30 every day (2 babies at home). See you then!
James
4/18/12
[writing to me again, and I’d also sent her the trailer, via boingboing, for Bobcat Goldthwait’s then-new film, God Bless America:]
100 Riverside is directly across the street from my real address. . I wish I had a dog to walk at 8.30. ……..I will look later at boing boing. lee
4/19/12, 10:19 am
[after I’d admitted an error I made at the previous night’s get-together, regarding the top tax rate:]
I’m usually the one going straight to Google because really I am so frequently wrong. But in this case, I Noemi was right…Right wingers are always saying, “Do you want to live in yuk France and pay…85%. And there was that recent staterment by a very rich man (you must rmeember who hie is ) who bemoaed the fact that his secretary paid more taxes x than he, and she paid thirty percent, See you soon. Going out for a noise machine at toysorus (sp?nosie.
P.S. I left in my errata pre-spell-check.lee
4/19/12, 3:32 pm
[to her friend Tom, an anti-noise-pollution advocate, who’d been at Julius’ the night before. I was CC’d:]
Tom The noise unit I bought at Toyurus surprised me. In fact, it has an earphone capability. So i can use my Bose headset with it,and that should be very effective. Think about it for yourself. Keep in mind this is for babes in their cribs. So there are various offerings: babbling brook, ocean, ,wind, rain, summer night. But also “thunder.” Who would chose thunder for the wee one? Maybe they were going for “a little bit realistic.” The next step would be ,”Mommy and Daddy arguing, he calling her a big, fat , stupid cunt”? Tom, you’re the entrepreneur, think about white noise/realistic.
4/19/12, 4:41 pm
Jack I just now saw the “godblessamerica” .(spell-check corrected this ironically to “cataclysmic”) .it’s great. thanks i swear what happened to me was just like what happened to the guy with the big tumor in the film; my hematologist told me that I had cancer and then she took a phone call and was on the phone for about four minutes..oddly, i don’ know that that little patch fits into the rest. Great stuff though ……I’m going to pursue in my reading more about the liberal/conservative schism, and whether it has always been so…especially in a Jefferson bio (the President not the dry cleaner) i am now reading.
4/21/12, 4:53 pm
[During a game, in Boston, that the Yankees were then losing badly. And another opportunity to tease me about a actor/director Bob Balaban’s daughter,who I’d previously known:]
and yet another
Ha Ha Ha The Sox have this adorable little “bandbox” — which is what Updike called it — ….the greedy Yankees have this giant, charmless, Darwinian stadium.. I hate the Yankees and so does Dr Pinky .. As I write this another run comes in
and yet another during spell-check. Lee
Saw Balaban yesterday. Did not mention you.
5:20 pm
Of course, I’d rather see a good game. Who knows, with the Yankees it could happen
11:04 pm
[After the Yankees scored 14 combined runs in the 7th and 8th innings, to win 15–9, and I’d sent her the Hemingway quote “Have faith in the Yankees”:]
I missed the gangbuster innings. I was at my desk copy editing, thinking there wasn’t much to see. Darn..
4/22/12, 6:19 pm
[After I’d guessed tonight’s Yankees/Sox game would be rained out:]
Earlier today, I looked at part of a quite brittle, witty movie…then I saw this little icon “rained out” on the screen. This movie was for Mets fans.. Can you imagine. The morons miss a game and then they see Noel Coward/ …finished editing that awful “met cute” paper. Boy, do they need me. I did at least a hundred edits. Maybe I can count on $400 a month from them We’ll see. It was an atrocity.
4/25/12, 1:07 pm
[I was CC’d on an email to a prominent Broadway writer who’d done an early draft of Lee’s movie:]
my good news
Hello Jeff The New Yorker just took my latest parody. It helped that one of the editors is a big fan and even wanted to publish my memoir. I have to cut it by about one-third, but that I can do. I don’t know whether it’s a shout or a murmur, but I am mighty pleased.
Took me three months to write the thousand words; revised it maybe 75 times. Now if they will only make our movie! Hope to see you again. .
Lee
• Volume 1: 2005–6
• Volume 2: 2007–8
• Volume 3: 2009
• Volume 4: 2010
• Volume 5: 2011
Aquarium Playlist, 6/7/16
EPISODE #236: MUHAMMAD ALI TRIBUTE
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Cassius Clay — “Round 1: I Am the Greatest”
Simon & Garfunkel — “The Boxer”
Morrissey — “Boxers”
Of Montreal — “My Favorite Boxer”
Eels — “Prizefighter”
LL Cool J — “Mama Said Knock You Out”
Palomar — “Knockout”
Skatalites — “Knock Out Punch”
Elvis Costello & the Attractions — “TKO (Boxing Day)”
The Lampshades — “Floating”
The Jam — “The Butterfly Collector”
Tullycraft — “Bee Sting Stings”
Cat Power — “The Greatest”
Queen — “We Are the Champions”
Muhammad Ali — “Ali’s Elusive Dream”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: The Lobster
4 stars out of 5
At the artsy theater where I saw The Lobster, moviegoers are encouraged to grade the film they’ve just seen and tack up a mini review on a bulletin board in the lobby. I was giddy to see that The Lobster‘s reviews were split between enthusiastic A’s and F’s (and F minuses, and one Z). I guess you love or hate it, without much middle ground.
Me, I loved it. If you haven’t yet heard of The Lobster, here’s a basic synopsis. We meet Colin Farrell’s character, David, much more of a sad sack than his True Detective character, though both are reeling from the dissolution of their marriages. In the world of this movie, instead of moving in with Oscar Madison, a newly single person — single for any reason — must check in to a special hotel. Guests then have 45 days to find a lover. If you don’t, you are transformed into the animal of your choice. David chooses lobster.
Stylistically, early on I was reminded of Wes Anderson — absurdity in the almost-but-not-quite-real world. But as I continued watch, it reminded me more of my new fave, the veteran Swedish filmmaker Roy Andersson, with an intense bleakness hanging over the proceedings.
Don’t get too depressed, though, because (like Andersson’s work), this is in many ways a comedy. A dark, dark, dark, dark comedy. It’s a satire and an indictment of the extreme value society seems to place on romantic relationships, and the pathetic view it takes of single people. (Though that’s often a self-imposed analysis by certain singles.) The movie skewers the ultra-specific traits we look for in others to be a “good fit” — or are deal breakers if they don’t have them. And also how we often pretend to be someone we’re not in order to impress a romantic interest, and end up in less than ideal relationships. And just wait till you hear the movie’s view of children!
Now, committed single people don’t exactly get off scot-free in this movie’s philosophy either. If they escape from the hotel, they roam the woods in ponchos with a pack of other Loners. A regular hotel-guest activity: Armed with tranquilizer guns, they hunt down Loners, who if caught are transformed into animals, and then the hunter gets a day added to his or her hotel deadline for each one. (Natch, because of people’s random requests, we see flamingos, camels, etc. cavorting in the forest.) But otherwise, hey, the Loner life is a good one. After all, they get to walk around and listen to music whenever they want to. (Ouch.) And they spitefully want couples to know that they’re not as perfect as they think they are.
The cast is top-notch. Colin Farrell is excellent, paunchy and sad, but still Colin Farrell so he’s kind of appealing. A good guy but we all get a little desperate from time to time. Rachel Weisz, who we don’t see till about halfway through the movie, is also great. Comfortable surviving in the woods or cleaning up nicely for the city, she’s the woman every guy would love to meet… especially if the alternative is turning into a goat. John C. Reilly is another hotel guest; we’ve seen him a time or two as a clumsy suitor, but now add a lisp into that mix. Olivia Colman, from Peep Show and Broadchurch, lays down the law as the hotel manager. For Bond fans, you not only get Ben Whishaw (Q in the last two films) in a fun role but also Léa Seydoux (anything she’d sey, I’d doux) who was a love interest in Spectre. And if you’re really a 007 goon, Seydoux has some conflict in this film with Weisz, Daniel Craig’s real-life missus.
The upshot is a tremendous and tremendously enjoyable, smart movie, with a whole lot of truth for you to mull over. The Lobster was cowritten by Greek guys Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou, and directed by Lanthimos, so now I definitely want to check out their earlier films. In the meantime I can only wonder about the people who gave this an F or lower. That theater crowd skews a bit older. Is it seniors? Or do singles love it and couples don’t? But I can certainly imagine this bumming out some fellow lonelyhearts. Maybe just people who only like really straightforward stories? I don’t know! So go see it and decide. And also decide, which animal would you be?
Aquarium Playlist, 5/31/16
EPISODE #235: WHATEVER
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Dinosaur Jr. — “Whatever’s Cool With Me”
The Monkees — “Whatever’s Right”
The Clean — “Whatever I Do It’s Right”
Colleen Green — “Whatever I Want”
Elliott Smith — “Whatever (Folk Song in C)”
Brian Wilson — “Whatever Happened”
The Shivas — “Whatever”
Oasis — “Whatever”
The Dream Syndicate — “Whatever You Please”
John Lennon — “Whatever Gets You Thru the Night”
Rilo Kiley — “Hail to Whatever You Found in the Sunlight That Surrounds You”
The Wedding Present — “Model, Actress, Whatever…”
The Manhattan Love Suicides — “Crush Whatever”
Yusuf Islam — “You Can Do (Whatever)”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Movie Review: The Nice Guys
3 stars out of 5
Ah, OK, it all makes sense now: Director/co-writer Shane Black wrote the original Lethal Weapon. Because this is totally, totally the Lethal Weapon formula: mismatched buddies fightin’ crime and crackin’ wise. It’s 1977 in Los Angeles. The movie tries a little too hard to tell us “hey it’s 1977!” (The Waltons are on TV! Someone’s playing Pong! etc.); Everybody Wants Some!! evoked a similar era in a more subtle manner.
Ryan Gosling is a bumbling private eye and single dad. Russell Crowe punches guys who prey on teenage girls; he’s gruff but lovable! Shockingly, their paths cross and they team up on a case.
For about an hour, this movie is a ton of fun. The opening action set piece is thrilling and funny, and it takes off from there. The lion’s share of credit goes to the lead actors — their chemistry is excellent, really playing off each other well with sharply written dialogue. And Ryan Gosling knocks it out of the park. He proves himself to be a truly gifted physical comedian; Gosling does an extended Lou Costello-inspired bit that was brilliant. And they’re just so likable together. You know, nice guys.
Unfortunately, the movie is close to 2 hours long, which is about 30 minutes more than needed. And the culprit: Way too much plot. There’s a missing girl, and the porn industry, and the Department of Justice, and mysterious deaths, and bad guys (not nice guys) from out of town, and it all could’ve been tightened a lot. The movie drags in its second half, and then picks up a bit, but then drags again…. Angourie Rice, as Gosling’s daughter, is for a while a rare not-annoying child actor but then gets kind of annoying. Kim Bassigner as head of the justice department is shot in very soft focus; this ain’t L.A. Confidential. Margaret Qualley, who I like very much as the daughter on The Leftovers, basically spends this whole movie suddenly dashing away. And I’ll give the filmmakers a couple of points for casting Gil Gerard, a.k.a. Buck Rogers, in a small role.
Still, it’s pretty entertaining, and Gosling and Crowe are almost worth the price of admission. Maybe you didn’t make plans for Memorial Day Weekend — you could go see a discount matinee of this. Or on a plane it would be really good. Or Netflix. And if they make a sequel, I’m totally there.
Aquarium Playlist, 5/24/16
EPISODE #234: WEEKEND
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Elvis Costello & Jimmy Cliff — “Seven-Day Weekend”
NRBQ — “It’s a Wild Weekend”
Art Brut — “Good Weekend”
Tom Petty — “Big Weekend”
Karl Hendricks Trio — “Somewhere a Weekend of Sin”
Terry Malts — “Where Is the Weekend?”
Dr. Dog — “Weekend”
Jason Lytle — “It’s the Weekend”
Paul Westerberg — “Once Around the Weekend” (alternate mix)
Franklin Bruno — “Keeping the Weekend Free”
The Long Blondes — “Weekend Without Makeup”
Saturday Looks Good to Me — “You Work All Weekend”
Big Dipper — “Wet Weekend”
Smith Westerns — “Weekend”
Kurt Baker — “Weekend Girls”
Waxahatchee — “American Weekend”
Jack’s Aquarium podcast is proudly recorded in Hoboken, NJ.
Am I the Only Person Who Has Ever Been in a Restroom??
Every day, there’s some article, some trending item, some YouTube video, about transgender people and restrooms. And there’s a law in North Carolina, part of which says, well, no, you can only go in the room corresponding to the equipment you were born with. Who wrote this law? Who’s posting these videos? Space aliens posing as humans? It’s the only answer I can fathom, because it honestly seems like these anti-transgender types have never actually been in a restroom before.
Well, I have. All my goddamn life. Every day, I am pissing and shitting. Often it is at home but often it is not. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
Some “people” (space aliens) are afraid that men, dressed as women, are going to go into women’s restrooms and assault little girls. Your daughter or granddaughter!
This logic is so ridiculously fucked up, so moronic, I don’t know where to begin. These “people” have certainly never met a transgender person. They aren’t cross-dressing pedophile rapists. They’re brave souls whose insides didn’t match their outsides. So they transition to the gender that makes sense. It can be a lonely, scary process, coping with the world around — friends, family, coworkers, strangers — who don’t understand, can’t grapple with it, who lash out in anger and prejudice. But they stay the course, to be the person they truly are.
And they don’t have the slightest goddamn interest in your son or daughter. It’s a zillion times more likely that some asshole in that bathroom will call them a “fag.” Or point and whisper to a friend, “Did you see that? I think that was a man.”
Or, quite likely, nothing will happen.
You see: Me, you, the transgender person, we’re all going in the restroom to urinate, defecate, or both. Often it is disgusting in there. Often, we are in kind of a rush. In either case, we just want to do our business and get the hell out. If there is a space alien in the next stall, squeezing waste product out of a thin slot, I don’t care, I honestly don’t care. It’s just another horrific smell in the fragrant bouquet.
Oh, and another thing: There are no kids in the restroom. If there are, they’re with a parent. If they’re not with a parent, then they’re peeing in the “little” urinal, or they’re taking a crap and using way too much paper, and then they’re leaving without washing their hands. Because kids are gross.
Do you want to scan some QR code before you go in the restroom? No, you don’t. You gotta get in there. And then you gotta get out. That’s all that matters, that’s all that ever mattered, it’s all that ever will matter.
So let trans people shit in peace.
It’s the one place where we all are truly equal.
Jack Silbert, curator