3.5 stars out of 5
The film we’ve all been waiting for: Master storyteller Guillermo del Toro presents Pinocchio from the POV of the whale. Wait, this one is Brendan “Mummy” Fraser in a fat suit? Jiminy Crickets!
There was so much advance buzz about Fraser’s comeback performance (I think the last time I saw him was an uncredited role in Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star), that I’d forgotten this was a Darren Aronofsky film. I like Aronofsky a lot! Well, except for The Fountain, which was godawful, and Noah, which was pretty good but unnecessary. So, this was going to be extry good, right?
Um, no. Granted, Fraser does an amazing job and the movie is worth seeing just for that. (Would have been even more impressive if he’d truly put on all that weight — I mean, come on, a young DeNiro would’ve! Body Mass Index be damned!) He gives us the full gamut of emotions and feelings: frustrated, sad, frightened, determined, giving up, stubborn, sweet, optimistic, etc. There is also much physicality to the role and he nails it.
Unfortunately, Fraser is not supported by great material. This is where I felt a little cheated. Aronofsky usually writes the movies that he directs; this time it’s based on a play, with a script by that writer. And yes, it feels very much like a play: It is mostly set in one room (main room of the fat guy’s dingy apartment). Other characters enter and exit. Scene, fade to black, next scene. It just doesn’t seem to be a very good play. Our morbidly obese main character has a devoted friend who is thankfully a nurse (Hong Chau in a solid performance). A missionary comes by (Ty Simpkins not making much impression), and like a wacky neighbor, he keeps dropping in unannounced. Enter the estranged teen daughter (a very good Sadie Sink) who is resentful, nasty, rebellious, hurt. These four characters in search of a theme discuss health and religion and broken families and being honest and it doesn’t really get anywhere. I think I was supposed to well up with tears but I did not.
Fraser deserves an Oscar nomination; the film doesn’t deserve much more. (Will even be runner-up in Most Unpleasant Masturbation Scene of the year, after Funny Pages.) Watch The Whale at home or on a plane. I guess another positive is you’ll likely have small portion sizes at your next couple of meals.
Movie Review: The Whale
Aquarium Playlist, 1/3/23
EPISODE #519: BEGIN
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Jan & Dean — Happy New Year promos
R.E.M. — “Begin the Begin”
Broadcast — “Before We Begin”
Another Sunny Day — The Very Beginning
Eels — “The Beginning”
Chicago — “Beginnings”
Peter Holsapple & Chris Stamey — “Begin Again”
The Royal Arctic Institute — “We Begin on Familiar Ground”
Wilco — “Where Do I Begin”
The Velvet Underground — ”Beginning To See the Light”
The Jam — “Absolute Beginners”
David Bowie — “Absolute Beginners”
Kelley Stoltz — “Everything Begins”
Sir Douglas Quintet — “Beginning of the End”
Even as We Speak — “Begins Goodbye”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Pandemic Cinema, year 3
A chronological list of non-current movies (feature length and short films) that I watched at home during the continuing COVID-19 crisis in 2022. The great majority of them were new to me.
Foxes (1980)
Poultry Pirates (1938)
The Circus (1928)
Metropolitan (1990)
Saboteur (1942)
The Velvet Underground (2021)
The Screwy Truant (1945)
The Swarm (1978)
Wild at Heart (1990)
Vertigo (1958)
The Stork’s Holiday (1943)
The Kid Brother (1927)
Targets (1968)
The Alphabet Murders (1965)
The China Syndrome (1979)
The Last Castle (2001)
Get Yourself a College Girl (1964)
The Long, Hot Summer (1958)
10 (1979)
What Price Fleadom (1948)
Forbidden Planet (1956)
Night of the Lupus (1972)
To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
The Hand of God (2021)
One Ham’s Family (1943)
Over the Edge (1979)
Blast of Silence (1961)
In & Out (1997)
The Shooting of Dan McGoo (1945)
Sleepy-Time Squirrel (1954)
Out-Foxed (1949)
Twice in a Lifetime (1985)
Wags to Riches (1949)
Scenes From a Marriage (1974)
The Big Sleep (1946)
The Power of the Dog (2021)
CODA (2021)
Star 80 (1983)
Funeral Parade of Roses (1969)
Scarecrow (1973)
The Three Little Pups (1953)
It Happened One Night (1934)
Viva Knievel! (1977)
A Little Romance (1979)
The Outsiders: The Complete Novel (1983)
Walkabout (1971)
Cactus Flower (1969)
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962)
The Lighthouse (2019)
Electra Glide in Blue (1973)
When the Cat’s Away (1935)
Quai des Orfèvres (1947)
Killer Party (1986)
Paper Moon (1973)
A Patch of Blue (1965)
The Tree Surgeon (1944)
Logan’s Run (1976)
Wee-Willie Wildcat (1953)
The Big Store (1941)
The Trial (1962)
So You Think You’re Not Guilty (1950)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Time Bandits (1981)
The Bear and the Bean (1948)
The Bear That Couldn’t Sleep (1939)
The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek (1944)
Barney Bear’s “Polar Pest” (1944)
Fatty Joins the Force (1913)
Barney Bear’s Victory Garden (1942)
Night Moves (1975)
Mon Oncle (1958)
Night and the City (1950)
Sheep Wrecked (1958)
Hooper (1978)
Brian Wilson: Long Promised Road (2021)
Reflections in a Golden Eye (1967)
The Pups’ Picnic (1936)
Purple Noon (1960)
I Love You, Alice B. Toklas! (1968)
Mama’s New Hat (1939)
The Card Counter (2021)
Officer Pooch (1941)
The Green Ray (1986)
The Strangler (1964)
Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (1989)
Little Buck Cheeser (1937)
Chungking Express (1994)
The Howling (1981)
Suspicion (1941)
The Little Goldfish (1939)
Barfly (1987)
Little ’Tinker (1948)
Thieves’ Highway (1949)
The Verdict (1982)
Stuck on You (2003)
The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)
Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)
The Loveless (1981)
One False Move (1992)
Hit and Run (1957)
The Mad Maestro (1939)
The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980)
Breathless (1960)
The Prospecting Bear (1941)
The Prisoner of Second Avenue (1975)
Two Boobs in a Balloon (1935)
Nut Guilty (1936)
Seal Skinners (1939)
Jerky Turkey (1945)
It Lives Again (1978)
The Haunting (1963)
Mark of the Vampire (1935)
The Calico Dragon (1935)
Ninotchka (1939)
Thunderbirds Are GO (1966)
Peace on Earth (1939)
Captain Kidd’s Kids (1919)
By the Sad Sea Waves (1917)
Garden Gopher (1950)
The Impossible Possum (1954)
Six Men Getting Sick (1967)
The Alphabet (1969)
The Grandmother (1970)
M (1931)
The Field Mouse (1941)
The Amputee (1974)
Premonition Following an Evil Deed (1995)
Burden of Dreams (1982)
Island of Lost Women (1959)
Alligator (1980)
The Last of Sheila (1973)
Abdul the Bulbul Ameer (1941)
Decoy (1946)
Heaven Can Wait (1943)
Bah Wilderness (1943)
All Is Lost (2013)
A Mighty Wind (2003)
The Automat (2021)
Gave up on:
Making Mr. Right (1987)
Pandemic Cinema, year 1
Pandemic Cinema, year 2
New Year’s Resolutions 2023
1. Attend my first rodeo. Oh wait.
2. Bring back phrase “23 skidoo.”
3. Market computerized sex doll with tag line “Any USB port in a storm.”
4. Shamelessly promote the free indiepop show I’m presenting at Pet Shop, 193 Newark Avenue in Jersey City on Thursday, February 9, featuring the bands Joy Cleaner, the Human Hearts, and the Ekphrastics. Encourage people to “save the date.”
5. Look up the word “ekphrastic.”
6. Build car where the back looks like the front to really confuse the driver behind me.
7. Keep clicking Accept All Cookies until some damn cookies come out of my phone.
8. Pitch to HBO Max: Tales From the Cryptocurrency
9. In the 9th month, try not to do the same old things and really make it a deviated Septumber.
10. Remain humble.
11. Eat fewer Reese’s mini peanut butter cups. But, in the meantime, convince Reese’s that the foil-wrapped mini cups don’t also need that little brown paper wrap around them because it is *so* much work and we just want our freaking candy, am I right, people?!?
12. Finally deal with my uncle’s ashes, even though it’ll be very difficult gluing him back together.
• My resolutions for 2022
• My resolutions for 2021
• My resolutions for 2020
• My resolutions for 2019
• My resolutions for 2018
• My resolutions for 2017
• My resolutions for 2016
• My resolutions for 2015
• My resolutions for 2014
• My resolutions for 2013
• My resolutions for 2012
Movie Review: White Noise
4 stars out of 5
Don DeLillo’s White Noise, from 1985, is considered one of the great satirical novels of modern literature. I finally got around to reading it 3 years ago. In summing up my thoughts in my Goodreads review, I said that while I didn’t think it was a masterpiece, I found the book to be “wonderfully enjoyable.” And I’ll basically say the same about Noah Baumbach’s film adaptation: not amazing but really good, and a whole lot of fun.
Baumbo often comes across as a Woody wannabe and in that spirit he brings back many of his regular players: Adam Driver as the dad, Greta Gerwig as the mom, Dean & Britta singing in a campground, even LCD Soundsystem bust out their first new song in 5 years for the end credits. And while the set-up is pure Woody — Driver is an esteemed professor of Hitler Studies at the College on the Hill, hobnobbing with his academia colleagues (including André 3000!) — DeLillo’s story takes Noah on a more middle-class American voyage, skewering consumerism, blended families, the medical establishment, media sensationalism, etc. Baumbach keeps the mid-80s time frame, perhaps just to goof around with wardrobe and production design.
Same as in the novel, a plot twist brings an Airborne Toxic Event and resultant public panic to the region. (In this section of the film, Baumbach even gets to indulge his inner Spielberg.) And while this seemed more relevant during my 2019 read than during the book’s initial writing, try watching this health scare play out after 3 years of a global pandemic whydoncha!!
Driver does a nice job vacillating between being overconfident and terrified; he’s having a good time here. Gerwig has a crazy hairdo and is terrified but not confident while sadly trying to fit in as a pill-popping suburban mom. Of the multiple kids I’ll single out the strong performance by Raffey Cassidy as the sleuthing eldest daughter.
The novel didn’t really have a plot and neither does the movie but I think you’ll like it more than the older woman behind me who kept saying “What’s going on? This is weird!” There are some good laughs and things to think about and if you don’t want to drag yourself to the theater, it’s a Netflix production so you can soon watch it on your phone — that’s modern American convenience!
Aquarium Playlist, 12/27/22
EPISODE #518: BEST NEW-TO-ME 2022 PT. 2
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Weird Nightmare — “Lusitania”
The Dracu-Las — “Tell You the News”
The Fiendz — “Run Away With Me”
Melissa Cherie — “Nvrland”
Jonny Couch — “Upside Down”
Angel Dean & Sue Garner — “Handle Them With Care”
Timeshares — “King of Shame”
Wednesday — “Handsome Man”
Faye — “No Vibes”
E.R. Jurken — “Let Go the Coat”
Artsick — ”Stress Bomb”
Van Chamberlain — “Heavy Cloud”
Bad Bad Hats — “Gloria Love”
PowerSnap — “Candles on the Terrace”
Hello Mary — “Apple”
Dion Lunadon — “By My Side”
Gully Boys — “Russian Doll”
On Being an Angel — “Favorite Doll”
Laveda — “Ghost”
Smut — “Power Fantasy”
Sweet Knives — “On a Grey Day”
Dark Tea — “Highway Mile”
Widowspeak — “The Jacket”
Horsegirl — “Billy”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 12/20/22
EPISODE #517: HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2022
Darlene Love — “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home” [ALTERNATE THEME]
The Minus 5 — “Festival of Lights (Hanukkah Song)”
Colleen Green — “Christmas Is for Everyone”
Mighty Sparrow — “Postcard to Sparrow”
The Everly Brothers — “Put My Little Shoes Away”
Charles Brown — “Please Come Home for Christmas”
gobbinjr — “Xmas Without You Here”
Juliana Hatfield — “Christmas Cactus”
Titus Andronicus — “Drummer Boy”
John Prine — “Christmas in Prison”
Cecil Gant — ”Hello Santa Claus”
Dump — “Christmas Card”
The Supremes — “My Christmas Tree”
Roy Orbison — “Pretty Paper”
The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl — “Fairytale of New York”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Aquarium Playlist, 12/13/22
EPISODE #516: BEST NEW-TO-ME 2022 PT. 1
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Oceanator — “Heartbeat”
Last Minet — “Don’t Hold Back”
Jug & the Bugs — “Car Starts To Shake”
Shinner — “Cowabunga Peppermill”
Sleepers Union — “Come On”
Chatham Rabbits — “Come Home”
Beams — “A Flower Blossomed”
Myriam Gendron — “La Jeune Fille en Pleurs”
Pussy Gillette — “Cabron”
Renee Maskin — ”We Won’t Lose It Now”
Sir Synthesis — “All Around Me”
High. — “Dead”
Al Olender — “Keith”
Ivan Julian — “Cut Me Loose”
Desert Sharks — “I Don’t Know How To Dress for the Apocalypse”
Surfbort — “Les Be in Love”
Abbie From Mars — “Following Your Lead”
Baba Ali — “Thought Leader”
Substitute — “Runaway”
Blood Lemon — “Leave the Gaslight On”
Church Girls — “Dune”
Country Westerns — “TV Light”
Yeah Baby — “No Video”
Phantom Handshakes — “No Better Plan”
Pigeon Pit — “Fire Escape”
Pierce Turner — “Set a Few Things Up”
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
What I’ve Been Watching: Edition XXIII
Not nearly as many new shows on the list this edition. Is it possible that I watched less TV?!? Perish the thought! Still, I’m not quite sure of the reason. Was I busier watching additional seasons of previous favorites? Or tuning in to more movies, specials, and one-off documentaries? Or just fewer compelling new series? Regardless, here’s my incredibly shrinking rundown of shows I’ve checked out since the summer.
LOVED
The Rehearsal (HBO) I’ve been a Nathan Fielder fan since Jon Benjamin Has a Van back in 2011, and The Rehearsal tops even Nathan For You for ingenuity. The basic conceit is worthy of a reality-TV smash: Role-playing stressful situations that you’ve been putting off. But Fielder blows the doors off the idea, hiring lookalikes, building ultra-realistic sets, and then becoming a main character in his own creation. I laughed and laughed and also watched with wide-eyed wonder at Nathan’s own multiverse.
The U.S. and The Holocaust (PBS) For a Jewish American raised on the promise of the Statue of Liberty and glorious tales of “The Greatest Generation,” this latest outstanding documentary series from Ken Burns is a disillusioning wake-up call. I had no idea how reluctant our country was to enter the War, to fight the Nazi scourge, and to accept desperate refugees fleeing certain death. We talk a good game but “Not in my backyard” seems to have always been the American way. This series is a gut punch that everyone needs to watch. Thankfully Burns also shines a spotlight on some better angels, such as John Pehle and Raoul Wallenberg, to show that there are always people willing to fight the good and necessary fight, even when it’s the unpopular fight.
LIKED A LOT
The Bear (Hulu) I eat in a lot of sandwich joints and I’d bet money that none of them are run like this (or with quite so many heartfelt speechifying). Still, the acting is so top-notch, the setting so fun, and the hustle-bustle and kitchen talk so exciting that I really enjoyed this show.
The Patient (Hulu) It seemed like a corny high concept for Analyze This 3: Patient kidnaps and chains up his therapist to have easy access to sessions. But the creators of The Americans used the idea to craft a truly compelling series ultimately about fathers and sons, but also dealing with nature vs. nurture, prejudice, trying to see the world through someone else’s eyes, and a rare mainstream look at Orthodox vs. reform Judaism. Domnhall Gleeson is unrecognizably brilliant and Steve Carrell nearly matches him throughout.
LIKED
I Love That For You (Showtime) I love Vanessa Bayer but I didn’t love this show for me.
SHOWS I HONESTLY THOUGHT I’D KEEP WATCHING AFTER ONE EPISODE, YET DIDN’T
Heartstopper (Netflix) Sweet gay British coming-of-age series but I made a hard stop after Heartstopper episode 1.
ONE AND DONE
Celebrity Jeopardy (ABC) Triple Jeopardy is an interesting concept but this should be a week of shows, not a regular series. At least they found something for Mayim Bialik to do.
The Watcher (Netflix) True creepy story set in New Jersey with a cool cast? Sign me up! But as episode 1 wound down and I was wondering “why did that feel so corny and phony?” I saw that it was a Ryan Murphy production and knew I would no longer be… a watcher.
YES, I STILL WATCH THE SIMPSONS
Two really strong episodes so far and the season is only half over!
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
With so much lower-quality “content” populating HBO Max, the mothership was loco to cancel the hilarious, smart, wildly inventive Los Espookys. Over on NBC, Kenan and Mr. Mayor were both lightly enjoyable yet I’m not overly distraught that they won’t get third seasons either.
LOOKING FORWARD TO
Tim Burton is my boy so Wednesday will definitely get a look. Will be checking out Fleishman Is in Trouble soon. George & Tammy is up my alley. Fargo with Jon Hamm returning to his midwest roots, yes! New Curb filming as we speak. And someday we’ll see that Party Down reboot.
SHOWS I USED TO WATCH AND IN MANY CASES STILL DO
Links to Edition I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI, and XXII.
Aquarium Playlist, 12/6/22
EPISODE #515: 11TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL (RADIO X)
The Who — “Happy Jack” [THEME]
Velvet Underground — “Rock & Roll”
Laura Cantrell — “Radio for Heartache”
Caroline No — “Anna’s on the Radio”
Matt Rendon of the Resonars — Radio Free Bakersfield ad
Squalls — “Elephant Radio” (live)
Hall & Oates — “Portable Radio”
Screaming Females — “On My Radio”
Spoon — “On the Radio”
Yo La Tengo feat. Jad Fair — “Ultra-Powerful Short Wave Radio Picks Up Music From Venus”
The Bangles — ”Rock & Roll Alternative” theme song
Hammerbrain — “Killer in Your Radio”
Dropkick Murphys — “Turn Up That Dial”
Autograph — “Turn Up the Radio”
Jan & Dean — KWFB Jan & Dean Day radio spot
Spiral Jetty — “Exactly How She Feels”
The Vines — “Don’t Listen to the Radio”
Fleetwood Mac — “Think About Me” r.i.p. Christine McVie
Jack Silbert proudly records the Aquarium podcast in Hoboken, NJ.
Jack Silbert, curator